What Happened While I Slept

Steven's Journal

June 15, 2017 5:42pm
Hello, I normally don't write but my therapist said that it's a good thing to use to help cope with my problems. She never said "problems" but I'm not going to act like what has happened is anything short of severe psychological issues in my brain. My name is Steven. Steven Class. I'm 28, living alone but I'm sorry ladies but have a girlfriend. Well, we're testing things out. Sorry, that's unimportant. But as I was saying I have kinda long brown hair styled in the classic fuckboy haircut, brown eyes, stubble (I grow hair extremely fast), lean build, about 6'1". I'm technically 6 feet and 1 3/4 inches but I don't count the 3/4, I'm tall enough as is. But average looks, my girl (her name is Ellie) says I look like a famous guy but I don't see it. Anyways, I've had some bad shit happen to me in my past. Abusive parents, verbally and physically, as well as bullying for most of my elementary and junior school years, and also the loss of several friends to a drunk driving accident resulting in the deaths of 5, four of which being my friends, one being the son of a bitch who ended it for them. So needless to say I have depressing and suicidal thoughts. So, that's why I'm writing in this. I have to go so I'll try writing in this as much as I can. Here goes nothing.
---
June 17, 2017 11:16am
Sorry, I was busy yesterday, I couldn't write. But I guess I have to write what happened today or what happened in my brain... yay... So yesterday was just the usual, went to the gym, played my PS4, ate a bunch of chips, and jammed out to some Gorillaz. Pretty lame considering my other friends invited me out to come play some pool like the hipsters they were. I usually avoid their attempts to connect because it normally ends in us smoking weed or getting drunk off the cheep beer or liquor they bought hours prior, both of which options give me a massive migraine. So I kept to myself, after all in my own best friend.. and enemy but who says you can't get along with the people you hate for a few hours? Anyways, needless to say I was pretty bored. I'm looking forward to today though, Ellie and I are going to lunch in a few hours, so I'm going to stop writing for now and get ready, bye for now.
---
June 18, 2017 2:57am
My therapist also told me to write down when I have odd dreams or nightmares. This is one of those instances. I just had the weirdest god damn dream of my life- It was about mid day and I'm sitting outside Starbucks drinking a coffee (yes I know drinking coffee day is bad but I don't care) and it is a normal day in Colorado, kind of cold but the sun is hot to give you a cold sweat. But out of no where everyone on the sidewalk and sitting at the tables with me stop what they're doing all together and stare at me. No words spoken, at first I don't seem to notice due to me watching clouds pass and texting on my phone but as soon as I hit send and look up I am startled at first to say the least. As the regular human being would I look around, gazing behind my back for a quick second to see if someone was making a silly face or an offensive gesture behind my back but I turn to see nothing but a blind woman's soulless gray blue eyes staring back at me. She looked pretty. Too bad this was a dream and I had a girl already. She wouldn't want me anyways but anyways, I turn back to see a man sitting across from me at my table in dark clothing covering his face. He had some.. weird black liquid on his hands... oh well. Not my problem and so I said "Sir, this is my table" figuring that what was what everyone was looking at was some mysterious stranger sitting down in front of a freak. They must've thought this was some dark cult meeting. But in response to my comment he giggles, or cries... I couldn't tell which. "Dude, fuck off," I say, trying to get him to leave "people are staring man" to which the sound he was making gets louder, it was weeping.
"I need help," the stranger finally says "I've done something terrible" his voice was chilling... rough, raspy like he's been smoking for years.
"I don't care, I don't even know you" I reply trying to get him away from me.
"Yes you do, you may not remember me but I've been there all the time." He says, turning his quiet weeping into small chuckles "I've helped you all this way, time to return the favor Steven."
"Okay, how about I give you my number and we can talk later?" I say pulling out a pen to write on a napkin
"No, I want this to be in person" he whispers picking his head up out of his hands, revealing his mask, blue with dark black liquid or slime coming from the eyes. And the eyes makes me shudder even writing it, were blacker than I've ever seen. They weren't shadows or cloth to give a false image, they were pitch black. They looked like space with no stars or nebulas or planets. Nothing there. Just darkness.
I woke after that happened, but what the fuck?? I haven't had nightmares since I was 12. What just happened? Oh well, I have some time to think. I don't even want to sleep now... bye for now.
---
June 19, 2017 2:46pm
So I just got out of therapy. I told her my dream and she game me the weirdest look. Like I just sat there and screamed. Like I was some psychopath. "That's not normal" she said.
"Well no shit. That was the creepiest thing I had seen in a long time!" I snapped back.
"I'm going to ask for your permission to admit you to a mental hospital... nothing personal but it's for your own safety," she started "the last person that had a dream like that committed 2 reports of murder and then attempted suicide. When they were questioned they said that the man with a blue mask said that he had done something bad and needed help, the help was to get rid of the whiteness. They had seen them in their dreams and hallucinated and seen him in their house and work."
"Oh," I choked out with surprise, would I do that?? Oh god I hope not.. "I'll think about it..." I told her then left.
Fuck I hate therapy, should I let them take me? I have no clue, I'm going to take a nap and sleep on this.
---
June 20, 2017 12:57pm
Hi journal, I thought I lost this thing, I've been looking for it all morning. It probably took so long because I was panicked. So the actual weirdest thing happened this morning. So I had just woken up and I roll over on my back to sit up. My eyes are closed and then I open them after rubbing them and I see the mother fucker from my dreams. Being used to fights, my first instinct is to throw a punch, that may have saved my life. As my fist comes closer to his face it starts to disappear and right as my knuckles would make contact all I get is mist where his face would be. Why was he there?? What would've happened if I did nothing but sit there paralyzed? All I know is that the more I think about what my therapist said the more I think I should listen to her. But I know if someone is reading this they will just say "Oh you just hallucinated that he was there" but I'm not done with the weird stuff yet. When I found my journal just now I went through it and about 3 pages from this one is says in a weird black liquid that definitely isn't ink "This is as far as you will get fucker"
---
June 23, 2017 4:56pm
Shit would be so much easier if everyone hated me, honestly. No one else would get hurt by me and no one would have to worry or care about me. Why must one human be granted a gift another requested? I never wanted to be likeable, even when I can make friends they just eventually figure me out and then they think I'm such a great dude when I'm not. Same goes for anyone who is dumb enough to trust me with their heart. I always end up messing up in a way I never imagined and then they leave. I try to let myself be happy and act like I'm not that bad but why do I lie to myself like I lie to everyone else? Needless to say, I'm upset, I apologize for not writing in here for a few (I think like a day or two) but I thought I didn't really want to. Ellie and I just had our first big fight. It was over something small but me being so tense I got kinda salty and she took it as me attacking her. I tried to explain but she didn't listen, she said "talk to me when you're fixed"... I guess I can never talk to her again haha... oh well, I'll just try to apologize again, I need her here, living alone besides my dog it's really depressing in my apartment that I try not to cost to much in electrical bills so I leave most lights off until night. But I could've sworn that I'm seeing things in the little shadows in the corners of my eyes, oh well. I'm crazy anyways. I've seen things for years, they're not really there. But the weirdest part... I see a glint of blue sometimes.
---
June 25, 2017 6:43pm
Well, Ellie and I are done with, we just ended it due to us just not really working out... oh well, it's for the better. So now it's just me in my apartment. But I don't feel alone strangely. I mean I am but I don't feel like it. Almost as if nothing happened. Or there is something else, I don't know. Oh well. As for the "break up" I guess you could call it I'm fine with it, things were growing dull between us and our relationship became stale after the first week. Maybe there will be someone else out there but I'm not going to focus on it.
But, there is something to write down, in fact it's why I'm writing right now, I saw someone in my house today... I mean, I made eye contact. It wasn't just one of those little shadows that you see that look like a person because your brain messes with you, I mean i could see him. Her. Fuck, IT. It didn't look normal, if it was a person there was something very wrong with them... I saw it in my apartment window as I drove up from returning from the gym. It was just looking out my bedroom window like it was waiting for a friend to pick them up. But then it saw me and I saw it. It just looked back at me... it's face blue, like really blue, not some human color... I couldn't take my eyes away. It just stared strait back. I eventually thought it wanted me, like it was awaiting an appointment it had set or something. I went up to my apartment and looked all throughout the residence and saw no one. But my house was out of place. Every other pantry door open, many doors that I leave closed cracked just the slightest, and then my room. My blankets had all been removed, but neatly folded next to my bed. My dirty clothes were sprawled across my room and hangers littering my closet floor. But the weirdest was when I opened my curtains to look from were the... thing was. Smeared on my window in the same black substance in my journal was the word "EXIT"
---
June 26, 2017 3:56am
This is it... it might be my last entry in this thing. The next page is where that thing wrote its message. And I'm writing this early in the morning because it woke me up. I woke up and it was sitting above me. It was fucking watching me... I don't want to know what it was doing. I just know it was there watching me. After I awoke it just stayed there. Watching. I screamed because what else would I do??