You Never Walk Alone

A bird flies to God....

The bird is free to go, but I am not. I miss them. My babies. Those six boys whom I love more than my life. How are they? How are they coping up without me? I hope they are taking care of themselves. They are big boys, they can survive without their mom. I have been in this room for so long. The doors only open once a day, for a meal. But, each time all I find is an apple. I think of eating it , but I cannot. I am all alone. I miss those boys. I wonder if I starve myself will my captors let me return to them. But, seems like I don't feel hungry anymore. I cannot die no matter what I do. I guess I am already dead.

The only thing I have left is my Polaroid with which I captured so many memories. I will never forget them. But, I hope they move on and do not dwelve on the past. This room is my new home filled with things that remind me of them. Like he used to play those beautiful songs on the piano. The bird is free. It can fly wherever it wants to. But, I cannot fly.

Suddenly something surprising happens. The door opens again, for the second time today. But this time there is someone standing there. She seems to be shimmering and glowing at the same time. She looks so pure and innocent. I don't know why but looking at her seems to calm me down. Her presence soothes me. I feel at peace, something I have never felt since I left them.

"Hello, Jin oppa, how are you?" Her voice is so calm and soothing. It's like a gentle breeze.

"Who are you? Are you an angel?"

"You can say that. I'm here to answer your questions. So ask oppa." She comes into the room. She seems to be floating in the air.

"How are they? What happened after I left? Are they fine?"
Her smile vanishes and is replaced by a frown.

"They are not fine at all oppa. They have been suffering since you left, drowning in grief, wondering why you left. I hate to tell you this, but they all tried to commit suicide."

Hearing this my heart breaks. I did not think it could break after that, but it broke even more. They tried to commit suicide. Wae? It's all my fault. She said they tried. Does that mean they are dead or are they still alive?

"They are still alive oppa. Don't blame yourself, it was not your fault." As she says this relief floods over me. They are still alive, sad, but still alive.

"Tell me everything."

"Brace yourself. Let's start from the youngest. Jungkook tried to move on at first, but being the maknae who had to take care of his hyungs, he could not bear it. He walked in front of a car and got hit. But he is strong, he survived."

Jungkookie, I am so sorry for leaving you. Tears are already threatening to fall. I don't know if I will be able to hear about the others.

"Jimin tried drowning himself in his bathtub but he was save in time by the others. J-Hope tried to die by overdose of pills. He fainted on the road. But he survived."

Hearing this I can no longer contain my tears. My death actually affected them so much that they tried to kill themselves.

"Rap Monster tried to kill himself by drinking something toxic. Suga set fire to his motel room and tried to burn himself alive."

These two have suffered the most. Even before these two have suffered the most in life. They have been through depression. Yoongi told people but Namjoon has a habit of keeping things to himself. You had decided before that you would live your life to the fullest then why did you try to commit suicide Joonie? By now the tears are streaming down my face and forming a puddle on the ground.

"However I think V had it the worst. He returned home trying to get over it. But when he reached home he saw his father beating up his sister. He was filled with anger. He grabbed a broken beer bottle and stabbed his father. He killed his father. The guilt was eating him up. He had accepted danger as his life. He jumped off a structure down a cliff into the sea. He still survived. He tried calling Namjoon for help but Namjoon was unable to pick up. In the end V got arrested for vandalism."