There was this ugly guy named Tim. He got kicked in the face by a donkey. He has horrible luck. He used to be very wealthy but a crazy hobo lit all of his money on fire. Then he had to move in to his idiot grandmas basement. One day when he was coming home from work she thought he was a burglar and began to pelt him with ping pong balls. She didn't realize it was him until he started bleeding. He developed many scabs.
