Untold words

You don't know how it feels

I mean you don't know how it feels, how it feel to be so broken that hearing something or just  by seeing things that has something related to him, would hurt you so much and that you could feel your heart breaking inside. No one dared to ask if you were okay, maybe they don't just care and i'm afraid of being alone like someday everybody would leave without a reason, and they'll just disappear.  That is even harder. That would hurt the most because they have never said goodbye and then you saw them walking away out of your life. And maybe the person you thought who loved you the most love someone else too. And maybe because you are just not enough for them that they're longing for another person, you don't know anything because they wont tell you things like they used to, so you don't know what's happening. You've always wanted to have that perfect relationship but it turned out while you are with them they are having fun with another person because they thought you are boring and they don't feel the same way they felt the first time they saw you.

Yes it hurts knowing that you don't even know anything at all, when you thought that the he is for you but he was never for you. I don't exactly know what to feel, it's like i'm so numb that being in pain makes me not to feel anything and all you can do is just stare at the things that is hurting you the most. You're longing for that person, their love and just everything about them but they are just not for you. Well then i guess while we still have this i'll go with the flow and enjoy the moment with you. Yes i'm so terrified of losing you, thinking that you are with another girl is killing me inside and i don't even know if you are terrified of losing me too. Do you even feel the same? Do you? I don't really know anything much about you anymore and i'm sorry if sometimes i'm so moody and i get angry a lot. It's just stuffs but i can't blame you that you are losing love for me. It's fine i mean some people is like that.

But i wish that someday when the time comes that you suddenly feel like not wanting to be with me anymore, just please tell me. I would beg you to stay but i guess that will not be enough because you have someone in your heart and that i don't matter to you anymore like i used to.

I hope that one day you'll think about us again, think about how much we're terrified of losing each other, think about those late long night calls, think about how much we hated the distance, think about those times we cried for missing each other. I hope that one day you'll realize that you already found the right girl but you let go of her. You let go of the person who knows you better than anyone, you let go of the person who's selfless, the person who loves to see people happy, the person who'll do anything for someone she love even if somethings would really hurt her so much.

Think about it and if you want to be with me again, i'll be waiting for you. Even if it takes forever for you to come back to me.

I'll be waiting on that day, that day when you will love me again as much as you've loved me before.