Letters To Romeo ➵ Verkwan

Postscript

Vernon

It's graduation day. Finally.

A long time ago, i expected id be beside you. I expected that we would finally confess our undying love as the cherry blossoms fall around us. I expected. I hoped.

Again, i failed to take note of other factors that could result in other events. Events such as the one we are living in right now.

I'll try to slip this letter into your bag like i did with the last ones. This is the last letter anyway.

I'll finally tell you the truth.

Im sick, and it's fatal.

Last August, i was diagnosed with leukemia. My white blood cell count was not good. I went home for a week, remember? Probably not. However, once i opened the door and was about to greet my mother a happy birthday, i collapsed. Thats where everything went downhill. I stayed longer than i planned to because mum didnt want to say goodbye. She was crying, and i was crying too. The doctor said i had 5 years— 6 years at most. Itd be a miracle if i lived past 27 years old. Thats why i gave you six letters. Some kind of sick metaphor haha or a wish to whatever god there is to give me the longest life i can have

After graduation, you wont be seeing me. I'll be in Jeju, spending my last years with my mum in her farm. It's sad that we had to end like this. I didnt want to keep you to myself because im a dead man walking.

Youre special, Vernon. You have a big life ahead of you. You got scouted, right? I wish you luck. Too bad we didnt get to sing with Joshua-hyung. I couldve bragged that i got to sing with a kpop idol kekeke

Do you want to know a secret?

You are the first person i ever loved.

I hoped youd be the last. You probably will be, considering I only have so little time to find someone as handsome, as dorky, as funny, as caring, as idiotic as you, Vernon. You certainly raised the bar high, huh?

I asked myself why i bothered to even write to someone who doesnt understand in my last letter. I said i forget. I remember now.

You are the last thing i have before i begin waiting for death.

You are the last person, the last real thing i have, before i return to my hometown and wait. I wont be going to school there. I wont be looking forward to some kind of future. I wont be having kids. I wont be living. Im dying. Here i am, pathetically holding onto someone who has moved on because i cant move on. I cant do that anymore.

I cant say goodbye now either. If— when i say goodbye, it's over for me. I'll begin my waiting. With the last character i write, i start waiting. I dont want to wait yet. I cant do this.

But i have to. I need to.

Goodbye vernon.

Your friend

The rose to your jack

The jasmine to your aladdin

The juliet to your romeo

I love you, Hansol Vernon Chwe

Boo "Jeju Island Boy" Seungkwa n