Something Greater (SAMPLE)

HOPELESSNESS

His presence lingered everywhere around me even after he was gone. An inexplicable feeling of panic settled deep inside my being, and I couldn't hide my fear from the prying eyes that stared at me from every direction. It seemed as though both prisoners and soldiers wondered what had just happened between the Commander and the girl in the forbidden clothes. The meaning of their curious stares was unmistakable. Every single one of them counted their blessing because they were not in my position. I couldn't blame them. I was unprotected, singled out, and had managed to anger the very man who was in charge of Obsidian. In their eyes, I was probably as good as dead.

The soldiers urged us to hurry back to the heart of the camp. None of them appeared to be affected by the gruesome act of violence we had been forced to witness. But the image of the girl's wounded back and her white clothes—ripped and covered in blood—wouldn't leave my mind. I knew our crime had been the same. We had both defied their orders and attempted to escape. The thought of ending up like that poor innocent girl—punished and brutally beaten just so I could serve as an example for the others—filled me with despair.

I couldn't stop myself from imagining how it would feel like to face her predicament. I envisioned the coldness and the cruelty of the Commander's merciless glare as he ordered that menacing giant to whip my bared back. I imagined the burning sting of the whip against my frail skin, the searing pain, pouring blood, humiliation and agony. Then, I saw myself being dragged away like an animal, left in a cold dark corner to die alone without a living soul to soothe the unbearable suffering.

More than ever, I needed guidance and craved protection. I longed for my mother's warmth and reassurance. She would know what to do. She would know how to comfort me and ease my fears. Tears filled my eyes, but the sudden memory of her soft voice forced me to push them back. She called my name and told me to stay strong. I knew it wasn't real—it was only my mind playing tricks on me so I wouldn't lose my sanity. But I didn't care if it was make believe. If she were alive, she would have wanted me to keep hoping. She would have wanted me to survive. I knew that in my heart. After all, she had given her life to save mine.

We were forced into a big messy hall filled with long white tables, and they told us to sit down and remain quiet. Like the rest of the base, the space was stripped of light. It was monotonous, colorless and depressing. When Mina took a risk and came to sit next to me, I wondered if everything was truly as lifeless as it seemed to have been or if our minds became crippled and unable to find beauty in things. It had to have been the latter because no place could have been as ugly as Obsidian and be real.

Strong smell that reminded me of rotten food invaded our senses, and I couldn't place its source until I glimpsed the two women pushing a cart filled with small bowls. The women were dressed in white. They kept their heads bowed, and didn't speak or make eye contact as they placed the bowls of awful looking porridge in front of us. There was no doubt they were Sariyan prisoners.

The smell that evaporated from the steaming bowls was so intense I didn't dare to wonder what the grey porridge was made of. Mina slowly turned her head toward me as though she wondered if they really expected us to eat that reeking swill. The soldiers around us observed with amusement as some of the girls started to eat. It was another way to humiliate us, to strip us of any sense of human dignity. Our last meals had been hours, even days ago, so we had no choice in the matter. It was either eat their food or die.

I took some of the porridge and held my breath as I brought the spoon to my mouth. Bile rose in my throat when the sour taste, mixed with strange spices, invaded my taste buds. But despite the strongest need to frown in disgust, I forced myself to swallow and keep an indifferent expression on my face. Mina gasped in a sort of wonder. I squeezed her hand, and offered one small nod of my head, warning her she should eat. She forced a bite of food down her throat, and whimpered so softly I was sure no one else had heard her.