I think I like you. (A Davekat Fanfiction) (DISCONTINUED)

Get You A Man That Can Do Both

You've never truly realized how nice Karkat's ass was until now.

Karkat was standing in front of the stove you had all built out of spare parts, cooking. He seemed really damn focused but you just kind of stood there and stared. You could swear it was defying gravity. He turned around and you immediately pretended you weren't looking. He cocked an eyebrow, rolled his eyes and continued. Your eyes once again trailed to his ass.  Jesus, Karkat, your momma give you that ass? Wait, do trolls have moms? You always just assumed that they did and Kanaya was, like, Karkat's mom? But you had asked her and she said no, and didn't even really explain it further. Maybe you'll ask Karkat later. It took you a moment to realize you were not, in fact, wearing shades and that Karkat had, in fact, noticed you. "Take a picture. It lasts longer." he sneered. "Sorry." You shrugged. You were too cool to get flustered at being caught. It was worth it. "Hey, help me out for once, will you?" He snapped. You chuckled a bit and that caused a bit of red to flare up in his cheeks. "Why are you laughing, you prick?" He retorted. You don't answer him, you only smile and laugh again. Walking over, you pinch his ass and he squeaks loudly and punches you in the stomach. He's pretty weak, but you humor him and pretend it hurt. "Ohhh! I'm hit!" You dramatically fall over, the back of your hand pressed to your forehead. You play dead and Karkat stares. The motherfucker then decides to stand on your stomach. Dude's tiny but he's by no means light. "Ow ow ow, that actually hurts, karkatkarkatgetoff." He steps off and continues cooking. You stand, holding your stomach. The fucker even dug his heels into your gut. You glare at him and he sticks his tongue out at you. "That'll show you not to pinch my ass, you pervert." He huffs. "It was a joke, holy shit Vantas." You manage to croak out. He puts the finished breakfast onto plates. "The rest can fend for themselves." He picks the plates up off of the counter and hands one to you. You take it and get a fork. You hand one to Karkat and he takes it. He and you sit down at the table and eat with each other, making basic chit chat. You then remember what you were going to ask him earlier. "Hey, Karkat? Do- or, did- you have moms on Alternia?" He looks up from his food.

"No? Why?"

"No reason, just curious."

"Well, not really? I mean we had mother grubs but they weren't our caretakers. They just laid us, and then we hatched. We pass the trials and then hopefully get taken home by a lusus."

"Lusus? Oh, I heard you talking about those a while ago. What happened to them?"

Stupid question, Dave. They all died on Alternia, along with EVERYTHING else, just like on Earth.

Holy shit, you never realized how many people died on Earth. Women, children, men, other people just like you died via meteor apocalypse..because of you guys. You shake a bit.

"We all have to kill our lusii at a certain point in our lives. It marks independence for us."

"Ouch. Harsh."

"Yeah, but at least I didn't have to kill him on purpose..."

"Huh? What do you mean by on purpose?"

"Uh...Long story short, I downloaded something I wasn't supposed to and my computer blew up and killed Crabdad because I'm basically fucking retarded."

"Oh. Well shit, that must have sucked."

"Kind of. It was going to happen eventually though.."

Another dead end. Now you know why trolls are so fucked up. They have to kill basically their parents. You're glad Earth wasn't like that. Bro was a piece of shit to you but you don't think you could kill another human without puking your guts out.  You both finish your plates and Karkat takes them to the tub/sink and washes them with a rag. You look at the table. It's one of those shitty folding tables that always were way more expensive than what they were worth. The top was dirty and yellow because no one bothers to clean the thing. You already have enough problems and a gross table is the least of your worries at this point. You look back at Karkat as he walked back to the table and sits with you again. "Thanks for breakfast, princess." You smirk. Karkat glares daggers at you. "Don't call me princess." He barks. You back up, grinning, with your hands in the air. "Sorry, your Majesty. Didn't mean to get your lacy pink panties in a goddamn twist." You can see that he was trying super hard to keep from punching you in the gut. You laugh and stand. He looks up at you, confused as shit and almost a bit worried. He doesn't want you to leave him alone. You hold your hand out. "C'mon. Let's go cuddle and watch a movie." His face flushes to a light red as he nods and takes your hand, standing.

"I call the movie. We're watching Dane Cook."