The Adventures of Cucumber Man and Dill Boy

Chapter One: The Pawn Shop Robbery

Alarms rang as three men dressed in black clothing and ski masks skidded into the alley behind Tom's Jewelry and Pawn. The heavy duffel bags they carried swayed to and fro as they ran through the shadowy passage.

"I'll finally have enough money to propose to my girl!" the first man exclaimed, huffing as struggled to carry the jewelry-filled bag.

"I can buy myself a yacht!" the second man exclaimed.

"I can propose to my girl on a yacht!" the third one proposed.

The get-away car was just at the end of the alley.

"I think we can make it!" The first man said.

The trio were so close to freedom, they could smell the exhaust smoke from the beat-up sedan that awaited them. Yes, who would have thought that freedom and new found wealth would smell like exhaust smoke, stale garbage, and... was that the watery scent of cucumbers?

The three men suddenly found themselves drowning. Yes, drowning. The mysterious and liquidy force had hit them with such velocity that they found themselves blown back almost to where they had started. When the substance cleared, the three men were scattered across the alley and badly bruised.

"Pshhhhhhh!" The three men watched in awe, horror, and confusion as a man in a green leotard and tights lowered from the sky, a steady stream of cucumber-juice seemingly ejecting from his palms, propelling him.

"This is the trippiest dream I've ever had," the first man complained, his mask now halfway past his nose on one side, and bits of cucumbers laying lopsidedly everywhere.

The man in the leotard was now standing before them, white-blonde hair blowing in the wind.

"I am Cucumber Man!" the strange man stated in his best bravado.

The third robber quickly stood up on his wobbly legs and began to run, panicked, but Cucumber Man produced a cucumber and threw it, hitting the man square in the back. It admittedly did not do much, but then he was blasted into submission with another flood of cucumber juice. The poor thief now sprawled on his back, pot belly in the air, panting ferociously.

"Give up!" yelled Cucumber Man. "The police will be here any second!"

"Wait, a minute!" cried the first thief.

"What?" Cucumber Man growled.

"What the hell are you? Am I high right now?" the confused thief desperately asked.

"I... what? No, I mean, how should I know if you're high or not? But, I... I just.." Cucumber Man tried.

"I mean what the hell is this stuff?" the first robber asked, lifting up his arms to show the cucumber juice-drenched sleeves of his shirt.

"I- it's cucumber. I thought the name was pretty self-explanatory."

"Y-you're a freak!" the third man stuttered.

"I'm not a freak," Cucumber Man said darkly. "My childhood... is not something you would understand..."

"Whatever," robber number three said as he sat up dizzily.

"What has you childhood got to do with anything?" the second robber asked.

Cucumber Man looked off into the distance, a pained expression on his face.

"The bear attack... " he trailed.

"This is a load of bull!" the first robber exclaimed as he stood up, motioning for his comrades to do so as well.

Cucumber Man turned toward him, menace in his pale green eyes.

"Do not make fun of my childhood."

"Or what?" the first robber grinned. "Are you going to go Super-Saiyan on us?"

Cucumber Man did. By the time the police arrived, the three thieves were all cowering next to a garbage dumpster.

"Thanks, er, Cucumber Man," one of the police men said.

"You're welcome," said Cucumber Man. Cucumber juice roared from his palms as he blasted away, leaving scattered vegetables in his wake.

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Hi there! This is my first public book here! I hope you enjoy! I welcome constructive criticism. I am hoping to publish more chapters, and I am excited to reveal more about how Cucumber Man got his powers... so stay tuned if you want more!

 OKAY UPDATE: Sorry, I am probably never going to write the rest of this. I guess it is just a cute one-off story. It was based on something me and my little bro came up with when we were younger so that's why it's so... weird. LOL. I do hope you enjoyed it, though. Have a nice day!