Can't be real.

Awake

Smoke. That's what the streets smelled like every morning. I sleep in the same ally every night. In between Mr. Meadows candy store and Mrs.Harolds sewing shop. Mrs. Harold had a bad habit of sneaking out of her shop every morning to smoke a cigarette. She hid it from her husband; but I'm pretty sure he already knew. She would come to the end of the ally with her pack of cigarettes, a pack of gum and the strongest smelling perfume that gags me and brings tears to my eyes.

This was my life and I didn't mind. When I was sixteen I left my family. My dad was a cheat and a drunk and my mom was a cocaine addict in denial. I know it's super cliche; but that was my life.

One day when I came home from school I saw my dad kissing another girl. She was younger than him, probably around ten years younger than my thirty six year old dad. My mom meanwhile was just high on the couch not catching a thing. That day I decided to leave. I packed the minimum and never looked back. They never tried to stop or come after me.

I've become custom to living alone. I actually like it this way. This way there's no one to disappoint or hurt you. Some days Mr. Meadows will come out and bring me some food that him and his family didn't eat. On other days Mrs. Harold will do the same.

I've never asked; but it sure does help me not starve to death. I think they've actually designated each other days so they both don't give me food on a day the other has. Or miss a day so that I starve. There good people and I'll miss them when I finally move on. I just don't think that'll be anytime soon though.

The day drags on and the night gets cold making me wish I was inside with a blanket in a nice warm room. That however will not happen for I am alone and can't remember what a blanket feels like.

Right then, while consumed in my own thoughts I hear something at the end of the ally. It was subtle but being used to the sound of nothing, it stands out like a sore thumb. Then I hear a loud bang that makes me jump out of my skin. I recognize that sound, I've heard it before.

It's a gunshot.

When I was younger a guy broke into our house. It was before my mom became addicted to cocaine and my dad a drunk and we were sort of happy. He walked into my room and told me to get out of bed. He told me to go to the living room and sit on the couch. My mom and my dad were sitting there too both looking defeated. Then out of nowhere my dad jumped up and grabbed the masked guy. He wrestled him to the ground and went to grab the gun.

While in the process of grabbing it, it went off.

The man in the mask dropped and was dead instantly. It was an accident; but after that my parents were never the same. A week later was the first time my dad came home drunk and a month after that was the first time my mom came home high.

That guy in the mask was the reason my family fell apart. We were some what happy before that. After we were broken. Unfixable.

       Another gunshot sounded, ripping me out of my thoughts. Rattling my body. I jumped up running away from the sound as fast as humanly possible, never tripping like they do in movies.

        I made it so far as a park when I ran out of breath. It was a least a mile and a half away and I figured I was safe enough. I gasped for air, but with every breath my throat stung causing a tear to fall down my wind burned face.

      I was exhausted and needed sleep. Momentarily forgetting about the gunshot. I found a bench, that I knew would be uncomfortable; but I didn't have much of a choice. Lying down on the hard wooden bench I wrapped my arms around myself and drifted to sleep.

       That was the last normal day of my somewhat consistent life. The next day would change my whole life. For better or for worse.

                                       •••

                              Authors note

This is my first book that I'm going to publish. Please be gentle. I will try to publish as soon as I can; but I have a very busy life, seeing how I'm a sophomore in high school. I really hope that whoever reads this likes it and doesn't mind if the chapters are a little short. I will try to make them longer and learn as I go.

                               Love, Jess