Chapter 1

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A locked door, a razor, a towel stained with red, a folded note on the floor, a broken mirror and a young girl lays there… dead. She was only 14 years old, she was beautiful and always had a smile on her face. She helped the weak, the poor… the hopeless, but she couldn’t help herself. On the outside it was hidden, but in the inside she could feel it. She kept in something she couldn’t handle anymore.

I cried for weeks, I was in the house when she did it. I sat there motionless when I found her. That note she had left for everyone to read, I kept it from them. My mom rushed home when I called her, she blamed me for not preventing Lydia from killing herself… but I didn’t know until I found her. Later that day when my step dad, Victor, got home we told him what happened, he slammed his stuff onto the table and locked himself in his home office. My brother just cried and cried, wishing it had all been a dream.

Later, that same night, I woke up screaming. I had nightmares for the next three weeks. i eventually stopped sleeping at night, I cried to myself everyday, I missed school for three weeks and drifted away from everyone; my family, boyfriend, and my best friend. I kept re-reading Lydia’s note over and over again, it was simple… yet I felt like she was trying to tell us something, as if it were a hidden message.

Her Note Said:

    RosaLinda, I Love You! You’re smart, talented, one of a kind… please don’t forget me.

    Mom, I Love You too, even though you couldn’t see the wrong in people, I could… I’m sorry for doing this.

    Victor, You built me… You tried being a dad for us, you tried lots of things… and you won the battles, stop trying.

    Jay-Jay, baby, I Love You so much, you are the best brother ever.

    Sorry Mom, Linda, Jay… Victor.

                            -Lydia <3

Why was she saying that Victor “won the battle”... what battle? She gave me compliments and said not to forget her, that didn’t sound like Lydia at all so I figured something or someone led her to kill herself. I started to spend my days at school talking to her friends. She was a 9th grader and I was a 10th grader, one year apart but it felt like she looked over me more than I did over her.

Her ex-boyfriend Wesley was devastated when I told him about Lydia. I asked him so many questions and when I was done he asked me, “Why did she do it? Was it cause I dumped her?”

I looked at this fool and said, “You self-centered bastard, my sister was smarter than killing herself over some dumb ass.” He looked at me and then slammed his locker and walked away. Everyone was looking at me… they felt bad for me and I hated it.

Lydia’s best friend was in my grade, her name was Gabi. I approached her in English class, her and Lydias told each other everything no matter how weird or gross the thing was. I sat in the empty seat beside her and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She said looking at me in the eyes. I could see the tears she was holding back, the screams she was keeping in.

I hugged her and said, “It’s okay, but you know something that I don’t. You know what was going on more than anyone else.”

She pushed me away from the hug and said, “I would tell you everything I know… if I could. If it were safe. But what she was going through I was apart of and lets just say, Linda, I am being watched. I can’t help you now. Please let’s not talk about Lydia anymore.” She continued writing her essay but aside she slipped a small note in my pocket.

The bell rang and Gabi ran out of class, I reached for the note and all it said was, VICTOR.

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