Please Don't...

-2-

When the end of the world comes, who's going to care about what you've done? No one. So why do people care what other people think? They shouldn't. Most don't care. So why do I?

I do. I do care. I shouldn't, I know that. People have told me that. But I do. I know people care about me. I know they tell me I'm amazing. Most of the time I believe them. But sometimes I don't.

As I stand there, blade in my hand, tears falls out of my eyes. I'm not sad. I'm empty. I've never cut. I've come close. But it's never happened. I think about Gus from The Fault in Our Stars. "You put the killing thing right between your teeth but you don't give it the power to do its killing." It's almost the same with me except with a blade that could do the killing faster if I ever gave it power.

I gently set the blade down and wiped my face with my sleeve. Starbucks. Starbucks will help. I walk out of the bathroom and head towards Phil's room. I don't think he's eaten all day. It's currently 4:37 p.m. I'm worried about him. I'm not sure why, he says he's fine.

"Phil," I said knocking lightly on his door, "I'm going out for coffee and I don't want to go alone." I heard him sigh and come to the door. A smile crept on my face. He opened the door and came out.

Phil looked me in the eyes for a second before trapping me in a hug. I was taken aback for a second but then I wrapped my arms around him.

He pulled back and coughed awkwardly.

"Ready to go," he asked looking at the floor with a bright red face. I nodded and he pushed past me to get to his shoes. I snorted as he tripped while putting his shoe on.

"You spork," I laughed, "do you not know how to function while putting on shoes?" He grinned and started laughing. His tongue poked out of his mouth. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand. I shook my head and pulled his hand away.

"Don't cover it, its adorable." I said. He looked into my eyes, blushing madly. He smiled and quickly turned away to go down the hallway that leads to our door. Stupid. I'm so stupid. I'm just making things tense like back in 2012. I was so mean to Phil back then. I can't let that happen again.

He grinned as I headed towards him. He's obviously just excited about the coffee. Right? Why do I even care so much about why his adorable smile was plastered to his face.

He took my hand and dragged me down the stairs. Not gonna lie, I like holding his hand. We do it quite often, but this time feels different. I can't quite figure out why.

When we reached the door I realized something, I forgot a coat.

"Dan, it's freezing outside. Do you wanna head back upstairs to get a coat," Phil asked kindly while looking at me in the eyes. I shook my head and looked away. Is it just me or did his pupils dilate? It's probably just me.

He nodded suspiciously. I followed him outside and immediately regretted not grabbing a coat. It literally is freezing. All I have on is a thin jumper. Phil seemed to notice my sudden change in position, as he gently wrapped his arm around my torso. I tensed up but almost immediately cuddled into his warmth.

"I shall steal your warmth," I joked as we started walking towards the coffee shop.

"Do with it as you wish, but at least you're not going to die from hermothermia," he said looking up at me.

"Hypothermia," I laughed. He nuzzled into my shoulder.

"Whatever," he said quietly. I noticed a women staring at us from up ahead. When we got closer, I realized why.

"Your kind disgusts me," she scoffed as we walked by, "you filthy fags are poisoning the young minds of the new generation."

I was about to tell her about us not being a couple but Phil got his words out first.

"Your poisoning the minds of today's society with all of your criticism. Who cares who I love? Apparently no one else we've been walking past. Apparently not the love of my life that's standing next to me," I was blushing like crazy now. Love of his life? Me? He tightened his grip on me and we continued walking. We didn't talk until we had reached the coffee shop. Things were still awkward.