"Let's fuckin go!" Screams Connor throwing the duffel bags in the back of the van. We all jumped in as fast as possible and Duce sped off. The drive to wherever we were going was going to be long and I wasn't up for it. I tend to get car sick after about three hours in a car. But this was the only way we could get out of the country and get out fast. Not like we could fucking walk. I'd rather be throwing up every twenty minutes and be there in a few days then have to walk and be there in weeks. Four hours later I was starting to feel puke come up my throat. I opened the window and stuck my head out hoping the cool air would make me feel a little better. But it didn't. "Maybe you should try sleepin?" Connor says. I turn around and my face was turning purple from how dizzy I was. I laid down across Connors lap and slowly but surely, I feel asleep.
____
I woke up hours later laying in a motel bed. Once again. I looked over to see Murphy was passed out on the floor with only a pillow against his body. Connor was next to me sitting up and Duce was on the other bed sitting against the dash board. "How far we going to take this, da?" Connor asks. The look of terror in his eyes but deep down you could tell he loved the rush of killing. Duce took a huge puff of his cigarette. "It's not how far." He begins to say as he blows out the smoke. "The question is do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as needed?" He then laid back in his bed and turned the lamp off. Connor did the same. After everyone fell asleep I couldn't stop but stay up and thing about what Il Duce had said. I knew the boys would agree with what their father had to say and but I didn't know if I did. I "Loved" Connor. I loved his brother as well. But for some reason something is pulling me away from them. Telling me to leave them because I just didn't fit in. I could go now, while they are sleeping. Get up and never look back. Start over once again. I'd be easier this time. I knew what I would have to do. Connor, Murphy and their dad are going to a small home in Ireland. When I say small I mean fucking small. A three-room farm house, one bathroom, in the middle of the woods. I felt like they already had this planned in the brains before I was even in the picture. I was stopping them, holding them back from doing amazing things. What they do is a family thing and I'm not part of their family. I heard a grunt and thought Connor had woken up but he was just turning around. I got up and went to the bathroom, then I got up and grabbed a duffel bag. I took a bunch of my clothes, some guns and canned food and went into the bathroom to pack it all up so no one would hear me. I zipped the bag up and was prepared to leave. "You're not thinking about actually leaving, are you dear?" I was startled to see Duce right outside the bathroom door. Like he was waiting for me. "I-I-I don-"I tried to speak but I couldn't because I felt guilty for a reason I did not know. "Shhh." He says pulling me into the bathroom and shutting the door. "We dare not wake up the boys. They have a long day ahead of them. Now tell me what brought you to this decision." I looked at him and my first thought was to try and play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about." I say. "You were going to leave no? But why." He asks.
"I don't know how to fucking explain it, okay. This isn't my place to be so please just let me go and pretend you never saw me, or just make up some dumb excuse." I tried to move by him and get out the door but he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me dead in the eye.
"This will always be your place. A place of comfort. A place of hate. A place of love. This may not be what you expected, nor it be the place you longed for. But this IS your family. You may walk out that door and never see us again and I won't stop you, or you could lay back down in that bed with the man who loves you and will protect you. If you walk out just know he'll never stop looking for you. He'll never stop thinking about you and he'll never stop loving you. He already has his mother leave him that he loved dearly and he doesn't need another woman leaving."
I put my duffel bag down on the floor. Walked out the door and crawled back into bed with Connor. His dad was right. This is my family. The only god damn family I ever cared about hurting. I pushed my back close to Connor hoping he would wake up and hold me. But he kept sleeping. So, I grabbed his arm and put it around me. I gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. The small house we were going to didn't seem so small anymore. It seemed perfect.
*Heyo! This is the last chapter. I am thinking about writing a book for the second movie. Let me know your opinions. I will be adding small things to this book about future wattpad book or even just random shit. Hope you enjoyed it!"
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Patron Saints //completed// #wattys2018
Fanfiction"Metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a Metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a women enters her first word into our poetic memory." (A Boondock Saints fanfic)
