The Little Wife

Chapter 1

Kathleen sit stiffly on the sleek black leather couch, back straight as a rod. She keeps looking down, staring at the clear, white marble floor, reflecting her small  face , as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. if she does looks up, her eyes will moved wildly like a hunted prey, avoiding the brooding man in front of her. She felt like there's a bile in her throat and hot coal in her lungs, burning, anxiety creeping as the silence prolong. Her sweaty hands keep clenching and unclenching  her elegant white dress, sometimes wringing them, causing rumpled corners appeared on the neatly ironed pencil skirt. Imperfection on her tidy appearance.

Her face was paler than usual, her olive skin tones seems to be stark white, a contrast to the man. Tan skin with cleanly trimmed and shaved beard, tailored and ironed expensive black suit with red tie, clothed his tall and muscular figure, dark hair combed but with a little mess that added to the rugged manly look, a perfect imperfection, topped with a commanding aura full of authority that is only unique to James Davidson, her husband.

There was only the two of them in this room and no one else, she desperately hope, someone or something can come and break the silence. The room is stylish, with a minimalistic black and white theme, mature and cool. Black furnitures positioned strategically, with white sculpture decorating it. It was beautiful but cold. Icy. Just like James.

Nobody was speaking, Kathleen was squirming under the stare of that piercing blue eyes. It was made worse by the chilling and skin biting cold. James unlike Kathleen, was relaxed, his body  leaning on the couch with eyes unmoving, staring into her soul. She doesn't understand why she is here, in his study room. James rarely ask her to meet him. Other than the usual business party where she is the must have accessories, James rarely ask for her. In their two year of marriage, the time that they meet outside of those parties are countable. All kind of ideas went through her mind.

Although it was her request to meet him, Kathleen always believe it was unlikely for him to answer and on this short time, she believed that it will took weeks for her to be able to meet him and much more pestering on her part. James always ignore her request to meet him, deeming her as an annoyance. So for him to meet her immediately after requesting was a surprise.  Does he have some kind of agendas, she wonder...

It took another few minutes of silent before James broke it.

"What do you want" his deep, raspy voice penetrates the room.

Kathleen break away from the trance, stuttering, a lame, "um, what? what do you want, um what do you, what do mean by that, I mean what do you want by what do you mean ?"

She redden after she realise her mistake. She makes a fool of her self again but before she can correct herself James sighed, he lifted his head as if looking down on her in annoyance, prompting Katrina to stutter again but  this time a better answer.

"Oh, you mean my request, of course-of course the request, your request. My request is" she bites her lips to calm herself-"I, I would, I, want a divorce"

She did it, she finally said it. It took her a long time but she did did, bravery and the feeling of accomplishment grew inside her.

James looked at her as if she was joking but Katrina stared back, her heart thumping like a hummingbird, but she won't back down.

"Why?" He asked her, but it sounded more like a demand.

"Why do you need to know?" She ask back, feeling a little bit brave. She stared at his eyes, searching for something, as his midnight blue eyes stared at hers, looking deep into her soul. She felt like there was a sparkling electricity, shocking her but as quickly as it comes, she looks away, cutting it off. She sighed and relented.

" I can't stay in this sham of a marriage anymore. I want true love, James . I know you didn't love me, so wouldn't be better if we divorce? Both of us can be with the one we truly love, I just...I can't live like this anymore, I want to be with a man who loves me", she fought to keep her tears at bay but she was resolute.

He tensed. every inch of his body went tight, his eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. He look at her mockingly, " have you found somebody else? Rustons' little princess, Kathleen doesn't love me anymore? Has you found a new guy to partake in your little fantasy of prince and princess, true loves and what not, have you gone bored with me? I thought you love me Kathleen.", His voice laden with cruelty.

She blink back her tears, she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had hurt her. She had no strength to be angry. She was used to his stabbing cold words, she tried to convince herself, she was numb. She forced herself to speak and ignore his insult, " The reason I want to divorce is not because I have found somebody else, it's because I...I don't love you anymore" she hoped her lie can convince him, despite her wavering voice, she continued, " we got married because it was a practical thing to do-" before being cut off by James.

"Well, that's not how I remember it, but it doesn't matter. I will not consent to it." He stood up immediately after saying it.

"Why? I...I don't understand, you don't love me and I don't, I don't love you. I thought you want a divorce too, so why?", she cried, desperate for answer and her freedom, but a part of her is filled with hope, that it was because he doesn't want to let go, that he loves her. She is still the same naive girl, she mocks herself, she knows that such thing was impossible, but still she hoped.

" I have no obligation to tell you.", he barked, his voice as cold as the room atmosphere.

"Please...I need to know, at least give me a reason", Kathleen pleads, her big green doe eyes, shimmering and glassy from the tears, anxious and dismayed.

James sighed and relented but still as cold as ever, distant. His expression saturnine as he said , "No ", he walked away leaving shocked Kathleen behind, stiff as frozen metal, slamming the door.

Her face stilled, her chest tightened. It was like something black and toxic speared into her, impaling her heart, lungs and soul. Hollow. Rage and sadness filled her, she was such a fool. She tried to stand up, but she can hardly see with the tears blurring her vision, she hoped she won't bumped her knee on the silver coffee table, that surely is a thousand times more valuable than she is for James. the dam has broke and she can't contained it, but she is thankful and proud that she didn't cry in front of him, she doesn't want to give him any satisfaction.

She managed to walk to the nearest bathroom, her movement was jerky like a puppet that string were pulled too tight. She drag herself to the porcelain sink, the bathroom is clean and slick like most of the room in the house, and as cold. Chill run down her spine while cold bites her ghostly skin. With fingers of ice, she shakily reach the tissue to wipe her face. As she looked into the mirror she see her face. White and pale as a whey, a broken soul that has been hurt too much. Tired and frail.
Her face and body was full of imperfection, neck too long, nose to big, eyes that doesn't shine. Her body flat and thin, not like the one James liked. Her shoulder was wide much like a man. Her breasts small, she's not curvaceous. Her legs too short, not like the models that James play with in the magazine. She will never be those woman, she can ever be what he wanted.