Grab Your Flirtivation Now!

Creating Rapport and Helping People Like You

Chapter 1: What is Flirtivation, and Why Do I Need It?

Flirtivation is a brand new term to approach an old concept in a new way. You're familiar with flirting-but flirting has become a narrow term which has, more or less, a strictly romantic connotation. Flirtivation is a motivation - to flirt! And to expand your flirting into great social interactions with other people. It's about being motivated to create unions between people-to create bridges of trust. It's about forging connections of understanding and care between one another. This is not about manipulation-this is about making contact between you and the world in a way that supports you in life. You're not just out to make your life better-though you will-but you are out to make others happy as well, and out to make others feel good about themselves. This is not a book for those who are trying to "seduce" another human being for one's own selfish, harmful purposes. Flirtivation is a positive interaction.

Flirtivation is not just about romantic relationships, though of course it can play a key role in initiating one. Flirting is a way of communicating and being liked by someone. It can be used to create rapport in any personal interaction or social situation. If you're stuck at a cocktail party where you don't know anybody and want to be at your best, you can use the art of flirtivation to be remembered as a joy and a pleasure. If you're in sales and you want to improve your close rate, you can use flirtivation-no matter your gender or your prospect's. There is nothing about flirtivation that demands that it be sexual or romantic.

We in fact all exercise flirtivation every once in awhile, sometimes without consciously realizing it. We do so when we want another person to like us, and we do so to establish connections between each other. It's a natural function of human interaction. Flirtivation is playful and genuine. It comes out of a desire to interact with one another with joy.

Flirtivation is a way of supercharging your charisma in order to help other people like and trust you. It helps people believe in you and have confidence in you. The greatest indicator of success in our world is our ability to withstand and come out on top of any social situation. People do business with people they like. People hire people they like. People socialize with people they like-and yes, people date the people they like too.

People love it when other people show an interest in who they are and what they're about. Flirtivation is a way of demonstrating that interest in a clear way. Though there can be some differences across cultures, most of the signals that are used in flirtivation have been hardwired into the human brain. That's why any understanding of flirtivation has to begin with an understanding of NLP, or neurolinguistic programming. NLP helps us understand the sometimes unconscious processes of the human mind. Through NLP we can begin to understand why people react the way they do. We can also take control of our own NLP processes and use them to create improvements in our lives. NLP is all about communication-and the cornerstone of any successful venture is communication.

Imagine for a moment that you're a genius at any given skill. Perhaps you're an excellent web designer. You want to make a career out of web design-but you can't communicate how good you are at it. You're uncomfortable talking to other people. You're uncomfortable writing proposals. You haven't learned the art of effective selfpromotion. Until you master these things you'll never be a web designer. You won't be able to sell your way into a traditional job and you won't be able to communicate how you stand out from any other web designer in a more cut throat freelance environment.

By understanding that the neurolinguistic programming that guides our everyday actions is a behavioral system that is easily understood and applied you can overcome your anxiety and fine tune the communication skills that had eluded you before. Communication becomes less baffling and simply becomes a skill like any other skill. With that in mind let's take a look at some of the common elements of the flirtivation process so you can begin to think about how you'll apply them in your daily life. Mirroring, Matching, Pacing, and Leading