Eenie Meenie Miney Mo

To Fast?

I slowly open my eyes looking around. This isn't my familiar bedroom, squinting I try remembering where I am. Suddenly I remember once I feel Alex holding me in his arms, feeling him breathe heavily. We must of fallen asleep, I sit up from his coach watching him peacefully sleep. After awhile he groans and sleepily open his eyes.

seeing me stare at him he chuckles,"hey babe, why you awake, is everything okay?"

I sit there silently staring at him for a while. He starts rubbing my arm comforting me, seeing the down look on my face, "You alright? Lay back down Adele." He says opening his arms for me to lay back into.

I shake my head, "Um, I need to go Alex. I can't stay, I have to go home."

"Why? Can't you stay here? Did I do something?"

"No Alex. You did nothing. Really it's just, it's me, I need to go."

He gets off the coach grabs his keys and walks me to his car. The car ride stays silent. We both don't make eye contact, just staring out the window. I flinch feeling him rest his hand on mine. Turning my head he reads my face expression quickly he takes his hand off mine.
"Are you sure I did nothing to hurt you," Alex asks breaking the silence.

I nod, "you did nothing, don't worry I had a wonderful time with you," I turn to him smiling.

For a brief time he turns his head and smiles back. Ugh, how much his smile takes my breath away. He takes my hand again and squeezes it, "Can we do this again, sometime soon?"

"Of course, I would love that." He pulls into my drive way, parks the car and turns to me. Resting his eyes upon me, he smiles, "I'm really glad you came to that party, maybe it was meant to be," He laughs leaning in. He rests his soft hand on my face kissing me.

I lean away after awhile, "I got to go Alex, see you later."

"Bye Adele, I'll text you soon." I nod smiling shutting his car door. I rush inside and run up my steps. Falling onto my bed I burst into tears, I can't spend the night with him. Never, ever, ever! It reminds me to much of him. That's the last time someone has held me close, holding me making me feel safe and secure. I can't fall in love with Alex. What was I thinking, he's just gonna break my heart once he knows Ive fallen madly in love with him. That's what they all do. But then my mind flips, what if he really is the one for me. I mean he made me feel that love again, the love I thought I had once. Maybe this is the real feeling though. Maybe I should let go of the past relationship, and let this new relationship take over my feelings. Maybe he really was the one. That sentence replays in my head sending me into a deep sleep.

***

"This soon?" I ask myself walking up turning on my phone that keeps blowing up with texts. But this text wasn't form Alex. I read a message,
"Hey Adele! It's been a couple months we should catch up! I miss our deep conversations we used to have at teen camp growing up. We should meet up sometime, what do you say?"

I groan, "not him, I thought I was done with him." Not being rude I replied back, "did you break up with your last girlfriend?"

With in seconds he replies," yeah, how did you know?"

"Well, you tend to only text me as soon as you breaks up with a girl."

"Oh do I, huh I never noticed that." I roll my eyes reading that, oh sure. Sure you didn't.

"Well, do you want to meet up this weekend? I have nothing to do."

I really don't want to meet with him. We dated in high school, it was really stupid. I guess I wouldn't really consider it dating. It just made my heart break.
I type back lying, "No sorry, I have plans."

"Oh really, that's sad, with who?"

"My boyfriend," I lie again. Alex and I haven't officially started dating yet but I hope quit soon we will be official, I want to love him, I really do. I think he feels the same way. That when I decided I'm going to make my heart be okay with loving again, but was that the best choice?