〔 STARRY NIGHT - MELANCHOLY. 〕
he stood there, hands snaked around her waist as he pulled her close to his chest carefully, as though she was glass and he was the only thing that was invincible enough to break her. she closed her eyes and inhaled his scent deeply, tears spilling out of the ripped edges he caused her. his apologies never worked, his voice and tone and presence never worked.
an art school. that was all it took to separate and break them. a simple damn art school.
lucy should have been a better girlfriend, she should have been a better person, she should have been happy for simon. they've wanted this from the start, ever since they spoke in the a.m, backs pressed against the soft grass, both of them not caring about the buzzing and honks of the cars in the busy new york street. all that mattered to them at that time was the sky and how it shone so brightly for the world, for them. she should have been happy for him instead of having intense remorse for meeting him.
but instead, he decided to leave her in the most painful way possible; inviting her to where they first met and where they had their first kiss, and said his farewell to her, inquiring he had to take a path opposite from hers. the university was in chicago, and that only meant that he had to leave. although going away for four years sounded temporary, simon also said that he had to work in chicago after college. he said he never wanted a long distance relationship. said he never wanted to leave her. from those words, lucy's heart already broke. and it was so painful to hear that was only the very beginning, and he had so much more to say that destroyed her and beat her to death.
she pulled away, hands pressed against his chest. lucy's heart thumped wildly, she was sure he heard it from a safe distance. she still remember the time when simon told her about the art school he was applying for. oh, how it made her world stop rotating, how it made her smile drop into a deep frown, how it made her heart skip a beat or two. lucy hit his chest with a tight fist two times out of the curling ball of frustration and anxiety in her stomach, focusing her gaze at his pair of worn-out converse and her dirty geometric-themed chuck taylor's.
she had enough of seeing the sky filled with endless shining stars. how they twinkled brightly, how they shone for the world without a care. it was all stupid. it was like they were all mocking the both of them. they looked happy and lucy and simon were the opposite. they were both dying. simon lewis is so stupid. lucy kang is so stupid. this whole situation is so fucking stupid.
"you could have told me," lucy whispered hoarsely. her throat stung when she pulled out those words, shaking her head as she looked up. she looked up to bore her eyes into his, a carefully mixed palette of brown hues and splatters of gold. they looked like majestic works of art compared to her boring light brown ones, and the moment had to be more ridiculous, because lucy was still mesmerized by those glossy eyes staring deep into her soul when he was saying goodbye. "you could have told me earlier, mon. it could have hurt less than it does right now. you could have..."
the last part came out as a murmur. it sounded like she was intending to say it to herself than simon in particular. she could have just asked if he wanted a long distance relationship, she could have just knew in the very beginning that things don't last, relationships are ephemeral, and she damn knew; she could have just loved him so much he wouldn't choose the school over her. but that was selfish for her to think, wasn't it?
everything wasn't making any sense whatsoever. lucy's sniffles continued while simon's steady breathing ensued. they were both breaking, one can sense it. their feet began to ache because of their position. their heads were clouded with thoughts, with ways and words that was possible to make this situation clear. their throats were hoarse. all this pain, and neither of them did anything― anything at all― to do forbid it for doing any more destruction.
