Army Heart -on hold because its horrible and I'm lazy to fix it-

Okay so its kinda bad and im sorryy but read anyway, itll get better :)

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As his lips grazed mine and i felt his hot breath on my face my desire for him became ever more prominent. I leaned forward eagerly only to be awarded with emptiness. i moved back and stared into his  stormy grey eyes. he said nothing and  neither did I. there was no need . " i wanted to tell you, i really did" he whispered, the pain just recognizable in his voice. i couldn't utter a word. at that moment my world came crashing down. " Rubí, say something" he begged. Not a single word escaped my lips. i stared at the cracked pavement below me and fought back the tears. "theres nothing to say" i uttered as i made my escape. 

  I walked for hours without stop. i felt so numb. I dont think it had really settled in that i might never see him again. That i would never get to say 'i do' . Even if he did return i knew he would never be the same. how could he be? he would see millions of families blown up. he would have dreams that leave him screaming. He would just be a shell of the man i love so much. he would just be another memory that would break me.     

 Growing up in the poorest part of mexico taught me a couple things. I learned that everyone leaves. It makes sense. No one would want to be stuck here forever and those who are, well they die sad and alone. So people leave everything. thier lives, thier materials, and their children. It was irregular for a child to have both parents.  I grew up with just my dad. my mum left when i was about 6. she took everything with her, especially my dads heart. He was never the same after she left. He went through job after job. He spent all the money on alcohol. he never stopped drinking. he became abusive. He left me to fend for my self and because of that, at age 7, i was unhealthy and alone with not a single person who cared. Untill the day my nana moved in.

       She gave me love. That was more than anyone had ever given me throughout my entire life. I am greatful to this day; even though i never got an education, i've had a job my entire life, and i still have the scars my dad left on me; my life is still better than most.

 

     So i guess you could say im not a stranger to pain and i geuss you could say i know a thing or two about people leaving. But i can't say that in a million years i would have guessed that my best friend ; my soulmate; my fiancé, would leave in just two days to serve in the army.