Dim's Crush

 I gave Dim a nudge with my rooker curled into a fist.

"Don't just stand here in waiting," I say. I tilt my gulliver towards the devotchka who sat, twirling her long, bright voloss around her thin fingers and govoreeting with some other ptitsas who were also very fun to viddy. "Go govoreet with her."

Dim viddied me and widened his eyes so wide I thought they would pop right out of his gulliver. "Wh-what?" he stutters, not very smart-like. But Dim was lucky because he had a very oomny droog standing right here next to him.

"Come now, Dim. Are you a sharp?"

"No," he says suddenly, too skorry for it to be entirely sincere and true. "No, I am...bolshy and strong and...handsome like."

Although I disagreed with his last slovo, I made sure he made no notice of this. I say, "Make her want thee. Make her lower herself onto her knees and make her beg you for the old in-out."

"It's not...so simple, little Alex," he says.

"Not so simple?" I say in disbelief. "Why—when we go shopcrasting and the like, whenever we perform a surprise visit, you wrestle real well with a devotchka. What makes she any different than the others?"

"I want her to feel horrorshow when I touch her," Dim tells me, looking real starry-eyed and soft inside. It catches me off my guard, O my brothers, and I blink a few times and steady myself. I did not expect old Dim the dim to say some slovos like that about a devotchka. "Not like the ptitsas we touch," he continues. "They don't want me to put my rookers on them. They don't know me and I don't know them. It's not fulfilling, see."

I turn my glazzies back to the devotchka that Dim was viddying real horrorshow. I couldn't see much very special about her, but if Dim thought she was a sight to behold, then have he. I could not operate on Dim's gulliver and poke around in his brain, wondering why he thought this way and that. She had a nice plott. I thought about having in-out with her momentarily before I brought myself back to the present where I stood with Dim in skolliwoll in our shirts and our pants and our shoes that covered our nogas.

"Itty up to her, then," I say. "Just grab a rookerful of her groodies."

"It's not like that," Dim says like he's lecturing a tiny baby who goo-goo's all day long. "It's not like that, little Alex...maybe you don't see devotchkas like I do, but I've govoreeted with this one some time. She used real smart slovos. I tried to keep up but...she's smart."

"I viddy you might need a cancer," I suggest, patting my pocket over my flat, male groody on my shirt. "Want to take a walk with thee, old Dim?"

Dim lets air out of his lungs like a balloon who desperately craves some spatchka. I didn't quite understand Dim's fascination with the devotchka with long, bright goloss who was placed nicely across the room in this skolliwoll. I did not understand how she could make him feel dobby inside. I thought of myself, sprawled on my bed, slooshying the violins and piano and magnificent gorgosity of Ludwig van. Was that what I were to feel for a devotchka if I viddied her horrorshow?

As Dim as I start to itty away from the devotchka, our backs turned to her, Dim said to me, "I don't want the regular old in-out, in-out with her, little Alex."

I smecked a malenky bit at that, O my brothers. I said, "And why do you say that, Dim—you gloopy old bastard?"

"I think lubbilubbing with her would be horrorshow," Dim says. He turns his litso to me and I look over at him in return. I stare at the dark mole on his nostril and wonder how many devotchkas had viddied Dim and thought him horrorshow. Dim was starting to sound real soft and sladky and dobby and I didn't like it very much. So I let him slooshy that.

"I don't very much like this sladky talk," I say. "All these dobby slovos are making me feel real sick. Are you feeling alright in the gulliver, old Dim? Is this because you might be feeling oddy-knocky or the like? Shall we itty on by the Korova later this nochy and afterwards get you a devotchka you can behold all to thyself?"

Dim shakes his gulliver and holds his rooker out as we reach the back doors of the skolliwoll and push open the door. I pull out my pack of cancers and we both light one for each of us.

"I'd very much like going to the Korova, but I do not fancy the in-out with a devotchka," he tells me. "Not this nochy."

Viddying this side of old Dim made me feel razdrez inside. I stared up at him with my blue azure glazzies and inspected his litso for a while as he puff puffed away at the cancer in his rot, resting lopsided between his goobers.

"So the Korova it is," I say, spitting out slovos just to carry on with the shoom. "I should phone Georgie and Pete this evening once I get back to the Municipal Flatblock if I should not viddy them here before the end of skolliwoll. How's that?"

Dim nods his gulliver, his longer hair flopping around his ookos. It was always a strange sight when I viddied my droogs without their hats on. They had longer hair just as I did and it curled along the backs of their necks and across their foreheads just as mine did.

"Cheer up, old Dim," I say. "I don't like viddying you all weepy like this. I just don't like it at all."

"Appy-polly-loggies, Alex. I'm feeling a bit better now. Best to go back to class and learn a bit more for the time being. Right right?"

I smile and take a sharp suck in of breath, holding the cancer smoke in my lungs for a minoota as I flick the cancer stick onto the sidewalk outside. I exhale and smoke blows from my rot. "Right right," I agree. "I'll be viddying you later this nochy, then, Dim."

"I'll viddy you," Dim agrees. We shut the door and we itty off separate ways to our classes. I thought more about Dim and his fascination with this particular devotchka. Was old Dim in love? It couldn't be so. Old Dim doesn't fall in love. And does he even know this devotchka? What is her name? Whatever it may be, Dim was certainly acting bezoomny and weepy when he usually would haw-haw about every malenky thing.

I hope that this love sickness or whatever it may be clears up soon. We had some horrorshow time to be having this coming nochy and I hoped it would make him feel real dobby inside again.