Individualist Thoughts

Day 1

We are Transparent 8-0088. Our only wish is to contain ourselves among our brothers. Always observing, but never being observed. We are a hollow shell from having seen so much. Our brothers can easily see the emotion raging behind our eyes if we do not use every bone in our body to hide behind a shroud of darkness as we have done ever since...

Our life has been uneventful after the day we decided to repress our memories, but today has unearthed everything we have wished to remain buried. One of our brothers has turned fifteen. Today is their day of choosing.

"Equality 7-2521!" we called out.

We weren't expecting a mirror to walk into our room from the great hall.

One of the members of the Council of Vocations spoke. "Street Sweeper."

Our eyes remained cold, hard, and observing. Equality 7-2521's evoked such strong passion of which we hadn't seen in anyone but ourselves.

When Equality 7-2521 stepped out, we knew immediately that a disease of the mind would spread among our brethren. Would the rest of our brothers catch wind of this hidden way of thinking? No. Not before we would snuff it out like a flame before any one of our numbers would spring their own traps. Only we were to be responsible for Equality. We would make it our sole priority to protect them.

It has been days since the choosing of Equality 7-2521. We had yet to pull them aside, and explain to them the dangers of being unique. We, Transparent 8-0088, would never wish upon any of our brothers the pain of loss. We have become a shell.

But Equality 7-2521 has ignited a spark into us. They have breathed purpose into us. But we must force them to understand the plans society has already laid out for us, not to go about and toy with the blueprints of our lives. That was our biggest mistake.

Down the path of the street swept clean we tread absentmindedly, no speck of grime to be found, unlike the days before Equality 7-2521.

Our feet led us to the Theatre, where, surprisingly, an old iron grill was revealed. We had not seen this hole since many years ago. In fact, it had been we who had let the earth swallow it.

We felt curiosity burst inside of our heart. A big, hot balloon of emotion expanding with each breath. Then we jumped in, our feet crashing on the stone floor, echoes emanating all around us. We were drowning in a wave of nostalgia. We were transported to the days where we used to think in terms of I.

Loyal 9-3847 and I had snuck out of the Home of the Students. Both of us knew that were knee-deep in sin, but curiosity egged us on. This new emotion had pulled us into ourselves faster than quicksand. We were no longer living for society. We were living for the both of us when we thought no one was looking. Keeping secrets like there was no tomorrow. Discovering the limitless unknown. No one would catch us.

I thought these opportunities to discovery were endless. We had discovered how to procure flame, a mysterious heat that reminded me of ourselves. We shone brightly in times of darkness. We didn't shroud our differences when we were together. Loyal 9-3847 was my flame. But tonight, her light would be snuffed out.

I looked deep into her eyes, overflowing with emotion. The strongest I saw was love. My eyes were a mirror image. It was like a piece of glass reflecting the immensity of the universe above us.

The glass shattered as she was taken away from me. Members of the Council of Vocations had been watching our every move. They bore her from my embrace as I hid in the shadows for the first time in my life. My own flame was extinguished. I was now part of the darkness I had promised her not to be. My eyes glistened in the shroud of anguish and pain I had fashioned for myself.

She was truly gone. And it was all my fault.

Brought back to the time of the present, we cleared our minds, dried our eyes, and surveyed the chamber for any sign of life.

We heard voices down the hall.

"We have learned more in the two years we have been here than the 10 years spent in the Home of the Students!" exclaimed a voice that my eyes later revealed to us as Equality 7-2521.

We made ourselves known by clearing our throat. Equality and his companion turned around to face us, shock evident on their faces.

"We are not here for harm. We are here for a warning. Do not continue with an individualist psyche. How do we know this? We saw it in the eyes of Equality 7-2521 on the day of their choosing. We have traveled down that road many years before your time, and may we say, we regret it ever so much."

"Why?" Equality pondered.

"Curiosity. The very quality that sent our walls tumbling down. All we ask that you both understand is that the world is a very unfair place. There is no way to control it," we responded.

"We don't understand," International replied.

"The greatest pain is regret. Knowing everything could've played out another way, if not for your mistakes," we said.

"Both pain and fear are inevitable. A real and true life weaves both pain and fear seamlessly. If you are not open to these forces, you are not truly living. You are not gaining knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence as you absorb the world around you if you don't take control and responsibility for yourself.

"Nothing will veer us off the quest for knowledge. Every question is remarkable to us. It symbolizes freedom. This snake-like society squeezes tighter and tighter, till there is no more life in our eyes and our wings are clipped. We wish no longer to be a part of this world if it compromises our thirst for cognition. I'm sorry, sir, but nothing you say will be of any effect to us.

"'We say to ourselves that we are a wretch and a traitor. But we feel no burden upon our spirit and no fear in our heart'" (37).

Equality 7-2521 had spoken with such conviction, we were rooted to the spot. If only we had possessed this amount of confidence the day my candle had been extinguished.

We simply nodded in agreement. It was then that we realized after many years that we had broken my unspoken promise to my beloved Loyal. Society had already stripped us of our only ray of sunshine, but it wouldn't take away our heart.

Being unique was the legacy our dear Loyal had left us with. So now, I will speak.

I will not conform.

I will achieve what my soul screams.

I will believe forever in living for myself.

I believe in objectivism.

I believe in individualism because I. Am. Different.