She'd survived change. She'd survived heartbreak. Now she has to survive one more fight for survival.
Ava Delaney was normal once upon a time, but then she met a boy and she fell in love. Then she kept his secret and fell into his world. She became...
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The word was around the school that Kennedy had died. Stares and whispers followed Stacy and me as we walked down the hallway of our school. The worst part was walking past Kennedy's locker and thinking about them clearing it out soon. It was like any physical links to her were slowly being erased and soon the only place she would be remembered was in the hearts of the people who had loved her.
"Hey," I heard behind us and turned to see Andrew.
"Hi," I greeted back, unable to pretend I wasn't feeling the dark emptiness filling me on the inside like a black hole sucking in all the good I could feel.
"So it's true?" he asked as he walked in step beside us.
"What?" I asked.
"You and Jared." Wow, news traveled fast. I wasn't sure if we needed to keep the secret from everyone, but with Stacy walking next to us, I nodded my head.
"Great," he said genuinely, "I hope it works out this time."
He was so sweet but the reality was we wouldn't, because it was a lie.
It was during the morning that I noticed Danny hovering around a lot more than usual. I wondered if he'd been assigned to watch me. It was only after watching how he looked at Stacy that I remembered the outburst in the cafeteria. It definitely looked like he had a thing for her. His concern for her was so obvious. But Stacy on the other hand held him at a distance and appeared to be indifferent to him. She was definitely not her usual self around him. There was a lot more to this than I knew about, I could just tell.
So when the lunch bell sounded and Stacy and I were walking to the cafeteria, I decided to broach the subject.
"So what's going on between you and Danny?" I asked. Stacy stopped to look at me.
"Why do you ask?" she asked with a slight frown.
"I'd have to be blind not to see there is something going on between the two of you," I remarked. She bit her lip as she contemplated her answer.
"The night Kennedy died...we went out together," she revealed as her eyes began to glisten. Immediately I understood everything. I remembered she told me she felt guilty because she'd blown Kennedy off that night to go out on a date. So that was the reason why she was treating Danny the way she was. Little did she know I was the one who should be the one feeling guilty for Kennedy's death, not her.
"She would want you to be happy," I insisted to her.
"I can't help feeling if I'd done things differently she would still be here." I wished I could tell her the truth about Kennedy's death; it would make it easier for her to let go of her guilt. But there was very little I could say without revealing the truth of what had happened, and I couldn't do that. I hoped that maybe given some time she would be able to put it behind her.
It was as we entered the cafeteria that I thought about how Emma was going to react to the news that Jared and I were back together. As per usual she was already seated next to Jared when we walked in, and they were talking. The familiar jealousy burned in the pit of my stomach. I tried to ignore it and I plastered a fake smile on my face as we reached the table.
As Jared's gaze swept to mine, he rose to greet me.
"Hi," he whispered as he kissed me. I knew it was childish and I knew our whole togetherness was a lie but I couldn't help feeling a little satisfaction when Emma's slightly shocked gaze took in our interaction. She'd gotten the message, we were back together. There were some benefits from all this lying that I was starting to enjoy.
"Hi," I whispered back. I was still feeling the aftereffects of his brief kiss when I sat down in the empty chair on the other side of him. Stacy pulled up an empty chair to sit next to me.
At the angle I sat, I couldn't really keep an eye on Emma and I contemplated if it was time to mention to Jared what I suspected Emma was. The question was would he believe, because I had no concrete proof. I decided to tell him about my suspicions of Emma after school.
The moment Danny arrived and sat down beside Stacy, she stiffened. How could I get her to let go of her guilt if I couldn't tell her the truth? It was sad because I thought they would be good for each other but I had to resign myself to the fact that I might not be able to fix this for them.
Jared's hand reached for mine under the table, his fingers gliding over mine, and he wrapped my hand in his. I knew that we were pretending to be together, so if we were pretending what was the point of holding my hand under the table where no one sitting around us could see? It didn't make much sense but I didn't pull my hand from his. I liked the feeling I got when he touched me, even the briefest skin-to-skin contact. It was like for a moment I could ignore reality and pretend we were together and that he loved me as much as I loved him. I knew I was just setting myself up for heartbreak with little moments like this but I just couldn't seem to help myself.
I glanced around the table. I wondered how many of the Archaic knew our getting back together was just part of a plan so Jared could keep a closer eye on me without it being strange.
Jared glanced at me and caught my gaze. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. This wasn't fair; how was I supposed to get over him and move on when he kept doing that to me?
Lunchtime passed quickly and soon Stacy and I were walking to our next class.
"Her mom called me," Stacy said out of the blue. I stopped walking and turned to face her. Her eyes watered with tears and it made a wave of guilt crash over me.
"Her funeral is on Saturday and her mom wants us to come." A funeral. I'd never been to a funeral before. I'd been too young to go to my grandfather's funeral. A sense of panic overcame me. How was I going to stand there and watch Kennedy be buried knowing it was my fault? I had to go but I didn't know how I was going to be able to get through it. I nodded my head. Somehow I would have to find the strength to do it.
After school I walked to Jared's car and for once he wasn't waiting for me. I scanned the parking lot but there was no sign of him. I wondered where he was, then a few minutes later I spotted him walking out the entrance of the school but he wasn't alone--Emma was with him.
Why was she always around him?
A knife-like feeling stabbed into my heart when I saw him smile at her. Unable to look away, I watched as he walked with her to the parking lot of the school. He glanced my way and smiled at me but I couldn't muster a smile back. He said something to Emma before he turned and walked toward me. My eyes moved passed him to Emma, whose eyes were fixed on his retreating figure. Her eyes moved and when her gaze met mine I saw a flicker of sly glee as a smile flashed across her face.
My attention was pulled back to Jared when he came to a stop in front of me.
"Sorry you had to wait," he said as he reached for my school bag. I knew it was childish but I pulled it away from him and hitched it over my shoulder. His eyes narrowed at the antagonistic action. Lines furrowed his forehead as he frowned at me.
He opened the passenger side of his car and I ignored him as I got into the car. Watching him with her brought back the reality of the situation. We weren't a real couple, he didn't love me and he didn't want me anymore. The only reason he was doing all of this was because I was one of them and it was his responsibility to keep me safe.
