Whispers (A Chanmin Fanfiction)

Empty

~Jimin~

"I can't take this anymore... Everyone I love has either pushed me away, or is ashamed of my actions." I wipe the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand, trying to hid the pain I was feeling deep inside, but the emotions just keep bursting through. "Why can't I just be happy like everyone else?" I glare at my puffy red eyes and tear streaked face in the mirror, the only person who I've been able to talk to lately is myself.  I've tried my members, but Namjoon is always being called into the bosses office, Jin is always pushing me away saying he needs to go make food, or practice. Hobi is always pushing me out of the dance room, telling me he needs to focus on the new moves for our comeback. Tae just flat out ignores me, and Jungkook is glued to Taes side.. The only person who even remotely talks to me is Yoongi, and that's only because he is always half asleep when I try.

Everyone doesn't want me around because of all the hate they get when I am around, hate changes people whether or not they realize it or not. When I confront then about it they brush it off and make me feel crazy for even bringing it up, but I notice the cold shoulders, the distasteful glances, I notice all the small things they can't hide, and to make matters worse, my family has cut me off as well. They told me in order to let my family live a peaceful life, they had to disown me, I didn't get a choice in the matter..

I look up to my reflection with an empty expression, what would be the point of living if everyone would go off living a happier, healthier life without me? Even Chanyeol has moved on, and refuses to talk to me. The hate floating around him has lifted because he admitted what we did was a mistake, that I.. was a mistake. My heart is shattered into so many sharp in fixable pieces. I just want to end everything, I wont be missed.

I turn around and walk slowly over to the awaiting tub of water, everyone will be much better off without me. I step into the tub not caring that my clothes are still on and clinging to my chilled skin. It's been so hard to stay warm lately, everything inside me seems to be frozen over with dead emotions. I sit down letting the cold water cover my torso, not even noticing my body has started viciously shaking from the drop in temperature. Which would be better, Hypothermia, or drowning?  Either way is fine with me.

I slowly start to lower my body farther into the water letting it engulf me with its cutting chill. All I have to do next is breath, one simple step and I will finally be free. I let out all the oxygen I had in my lungs, watching as the bubbles float slowly up to the top being released with no cares. I lay there looking up from underneath the water to the dimly lit celling above me, Namjoon should clean that soon, the white is now turning yellow with grim. I wonder if they will get back into a schedule when I'm gone.

My chest starts to burn begging me to surface and replenish it, but I only welcome the pain, smiling as it intensified. Finally I am feeling something other than this numbness that has been following me around these past couple of months. Funny how you can go from being the happiest you have ever been, to crippled with so much hurt you just want to end everything. Emotions are to tricky, you do one thing wrong and they will turn on you in an instant.

Black starts to form over my vision as my body finally has had enough. That familiar numbness starts to take over again, the cold water must have finally kicked in. I try to smile, but I'm not sure if I did or not my body is so numb, oh well, at least I am finally free... The black completely covers my vison as my mind goes blank.

AN: Heyyy guuyyy, I really hope you are enjoying my story so far <3 This is one of the longest chapters I have done for this book so far, but I wanted to go into more detail with how Jimin is feeling. Also, what is your thoughts on this book so far? Do you like it? Do you not like it?  Is that really the end for Jimin? Let me know in the comments below vvvvvv. Don't forget to press that sad little gray star up there and give him so love C= P.S What do you guys think about BTS concept photos??? I'm so exited to see what they have in store for us :D What do you guys think the MV is going to be about???