As soon as I pulled my car into the driveway, my stomach did a flip. The house was dark, except for an orange glow peeking through the living room curtains. I turned the engine off and reached for my backpack, which i had thrown in the back seat but which somehow landed on the floor behind me, making its retrieval more nerve racking than it needed to be. Forgetting about the backpack, I left the car. He was expecting me. He was waiting for me. There was no way out.
My shaky hand, which was a bit numb from taking notes, turned the key in the lock. His lock. His key. Soon enough, it would belong to only him again. I had to shake my head to push the thought out and force my feet to pass through the threshold. I turned right toward the living room doorway. There he sat, candle flames reflecting in his blue eyes and shadowing the perfect face that had been my light for the past months.
"Hi, Sa...rah" he said, not moving from his seat at the small table he'd pulled into the living room. It was beautifully decorated for dinner. The sweet smell of roses filled the room, as a vase sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by glowing candles. "How was class?"
"Uh, fine," I swallowed the lump in my throat. "What's all this?"
"Come, sit," He pushed the chair opposite him out with his foot. "I just thought, you know, one year deserves a celebration."
Reluctantly, I sat. We ate though I had no appetite. We chatted. We talked about everything and nothing at all, as always was the case with us. It was a comfortable silence I had once enjoyed, but now, with my nerves on edge, it felt like a torture. And then it happened.
"We've had a great relationship this year."
"Yeah, we have. I should get to these dishes." I pushed my chair out and jumped to my feet. He grabbed my hand to stop me.
"No, wait. I have something I need to ask you."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black, velvet box. My heart jumped to my throat. I knocked my chair over in my rush to get out the door, jumping in my car, my fingers fumbling with the key in the ignition. I backed out of his driveway so fast I didn't remember doing it later as I sat on Hallie's couch with my arms wrapped around my knees, a wad of tissues in my hand.
"I hate to say but, how long did you think you were going to keep this up?" Hallie pulled a few more tissues out of the box and handed to me. "I mean, really, Sam? You've been with him for a year. Things are going great. He's been hinting about living together."
I threw the wadded tissues onto the coffee table and started on a new one. My nose felt like it was on fire. I must have looked like Rudolph.
"And I kept changing the subject whenever he tried. You know I can't live with him. He can't see the name on my mail, or my bills, or my license, even."
"But he's been to your apartment."
"I know. I told him they still send some of Sam's mail there, even though she's been living in Germany for two years. And remember that time he answered my phone?"
