"No." And the it happened. I didn't mean do it. I didn't plan it. I just blurted it out.
And, of course, one lie led to another. "Sam moved to Germany and my parents moved to California for my dad's job."
"I'm surprised you stayed here without your family."
"Well, Sam and I had a falling out before she left. We'll fix it one day, I'm sure," I stepped away from the counter when I realized the butcher was headed in my direction. I didn't have a clue what I had wanted to buy, nor did I care. "Besides, I go to college here."
"That's great. It's so good to see you." His smile never faltered as he stared at me, studying what I was confusion and panic on my face. "Do you, I mean, would you, uh..."
"What?" I coaxed anxiously.
"Want to get some lunch?" He finally said. My heart sped.
"Sure."
"Did you sleep at all?" Hallie called from the doorway to her kitchen, snatching me from my memories. All night I had thought about him, about his first touch, our first kiss, the sly glances he gave me when he caught me watching him do things; everything came rushing back.
"I think I slept a little," I lied so she wouldn't worry. "Do you have to work today?"
"Yeah, unfortunately. I can cut out a couple hours early, though." She must've seen the disappointment in my face so she added, "Please stay here and make yourself at home. What's mine is yours,of course."
"Thanks. I think I'm just going to try to sleep some more."
"Sam," she came and sat next to me on the couch. "It'll be ok, you know that, right?"
"Oh, Hallie. I wish I could believe that. I lied to him for a whole year. He's never going to forget that."
"Oh, I don't know about that. Things always have a way of working out."
I wish I could be as optimistic as my best friend. She was single by choice, independent, and happy~~not matter what. She looked at everything negative in her life as a learning experience. And what was this for me? A lesson that I could not get anything I wanted in life, as usual.
After Hallie left for work, I spent the time crying, beating myself up over my selfish stupidity m, and reminding myself that he would never forgive me. He would be disgusted. He would hate me for wasting a year if his life. "God, how could I have been so stupid?"
Though Hallie had offered her shower and her clothes, I couldn't even bring myself to contemplate it. I still say in the tee-shirt she loaned me to sleep in, my hair a disheveled and tangled mess, my eyes red and puffy to match my nose, nursing a cup of coffee ☕️, when her key turned in the lock. To my utter horror, Matthew stood behind her. I ran my fingers through the mess on my head trying in vain to straighten it.
"Sorry, honey, but he came to my job and insisted on following me home. He knew you'd be here," she explained as she led him in and closed the front door. "He just wants to talk."
I nodded, motioning for him to take the seat across from me. Instead, he sat next to me, picking my legs up and placing them on his lap. My heart beat like I'd just run a marathon m, fear tightening my throat. Sure that this would be the last time I ever looked into his beautiful eyes, I kept mine locked to his m, determined to be bold like Sarah would've been
