Louis wasn’t gone long, but when he got back to the house he didn’t go inside. He had left, bought a bottle of whiskey and parked his car down the street some. He walked and slid past his house and walked through the backyard, careful to not be seen. As he walked past the windows he seen everyone but Nick was still there, and he let out a low groan as Nick entered his mind. He just took a deep breath and shook his head and kept walking, trying to brush it all off. Part of him wanted to go along with it, but that was the stupid irrational part, it as the part that was still stuck at fifteen, the part that was still scarily obsessed with Nick, the part that he didn’t let surface often. The other part of him was busy being angry, rolling its eyes and stomping its foot.
Louis took a few drinks out of the bottle and meandered to the pool, just sitting in the darkness and dropping his feet in, barely able to make out his and Nicks parents laughing and talking at the table. Louis sat for another half hour, drinking half of the bottle. He seen Nicks car pull up in his own driveway and heard the door slam shut. After a few more minutes, the light on the first floor turned on and Louis took another drink, standing and walking around the pool and over to Nicks yard. He slid between the bushes and slid his fingers under the window and he shimmied it up, a small smile playing on his face combined with a hint of surprise wondering why Nick still left it open an inch, enough for Louis to get it up. Louis got it open and looked inside, finding an empty room. He groaned and hoisted himself in, dropping himself on the floor and almost breaking the bottle. But he didn’t. He stood and closed the window, setting the bottle down and slowly meandering around the room, taking his time. Nicks room hadn’t changed much, he still had terrible taste in music, and the posters on the wall to prove it. Some pictures of friends and family, a TV and the game console and same games that used to get Louis and Nick through the nights. Louis smiled fondly and trailed his finger along the games, before turning away and dropping himself onto Nick’s bed. He didn’t think he was drunk; he had only had like half a bottle. It wasn’t nearly enough to make him slur and stumble fully, just enough to make him relax, which was partially what he needed to be able to confront Nick. He heard the water down the hall running and new Nick was showering. Louis just laid there, reaching for the remote and sliding through the channels on the TV. After about ten minutes Nick walked into the room, towel around his shoulders and a pair of loose shorts hanging of his hips. He scrubbed the towel through his hair and looked at Louis suddenly, stopping all movement. Louis just laid there, legs crossed at the ankles and hands crossed behind his head.
“To what do I owe the honor?” He asked, causing Louis to roll his eyes on the bed.
“Shut up..we have to talk…” Louis retorted, sitting up and crossing his legs. Nick slid a shirt on and nodded his head, tossing the towel into a basket in the corner. Louis picked at a string on his jeans and took a deep breath, not looking up at Nick. Just as he was about to open his mouth and ask what they should do, Nick spoke.
“Why is the idea of being married to me so repulsive to you?” He asked, and Louis whipped his head up, eyes wide. He shook his head and then closed his mouth, looking down again. Not sure of how to respond. He didn’t find it repulsive. And he wasn’t honestly sure why he freaked out like that.
“Its not.. I just..why would I pretend to be happy with something you don’t want. You’ve made it very clear that you don’t want me…And besides, you have a boyfriend anyways, Landon..so…yeah” He kept his eyes trained down and stood up. “I'm sorry..It was a mistake to come” He said, feeling his mood go down as he remembered what fifteen year old him felt like getting rejected, he felt like it was happening all over again. He headed to the door, a little alarmed when Nick moved swiftly and got their first, gently grabbing his wrist.
“What do you mean I don’t want you?” He asked, Louis just shrugged and stayed quiet, it only took moments for realization to hit Nick. “Oh…Well…yeah but…Lou you were fifteen…I was 18. That would have been illegal, I didn’t want to go to jail, and…” He stuttered out and Louis just shook his head.
“Whatever, Nick…Look. I just,” He paused and took a breath. “I'm not going to argue this, I’ve already decided, I'm in if you are. We both benefit from it, moving from home, closer to work. We can just be married but have an open marriage. I can bring home guys and you can still date and fuck whoever you want. We can sleep in separate rooms, possibly separate floors depending on what the place looks like. And better yet, to our parents and my Gram, it’ll look like we are the happiest fucking couple on earth. Everybody wins.” He spoke, and looked at the TV around Nick, wiggling his hand out of Nicks grip. Nick just lamely nodded and mumbled sure. “Great, well see you tomorrow honey…” He murmured and slid out of the room, not looking back and missing the pout that came to Nicks lips and the frown lines engraved into his forehead as he watched Louis go.
~~
Telling their parents they had agreed to the whole thing was the hardest part. They had to appear to be into it and sure, so Louis stayed relaxed under Nicks arm while they spoke in the living room, trying to ignore the warmth that spread all over his body each time Nick would laugh and squeeze him closer. Louis made it a constant mantra to repeat to himself that not only did Nick not want him, Nick also had a boyfriend. But as the next few weeks packed it got increasingly harder and harder, not only for them to make it look real, but for Louis to not fall completely head over heels like a love sick child again. They had gone on dates to make it seem like they were getting along and going for it, on the dates Louis just insisted they see different movies, or the same movie but there was no touching or kissing like an actual date.
“We need to kiss” Nick spoke, blunt. Louis nearly choked on the water he was swallowing. They were both sitting in Louis’ bedroom, the door shut, letting their parents think what they wanted as they watched TV, Nick in the computer chair and Louis sprawled on the bed. Louis sat up immediately, eyes wide. Nick had the decency to look almost embarrassed at his words. But then he shrugged. “Its been three weeks and they’ve barely seen a hug, they are smarter than that. I mean…I don’t know… My sister had the nerve to ask me while she was helping me pack yesterday how ‘good you were’ and I stuttered like an idiot” He admitted, causing Louis to laugh at the image that produced.
“Of course you did…because it would kill you to play it cool and be smooth for once, Grimshaw.” Louis spoke, a smile on his face as he ran the bar of the tongue ring over his teeth and glanced around his room. There were a few boxes. He was supposed to be packing so he and Nick could move, they still hadn’t checked out the house. Their moms were making them pack first so they could both see it as they were moving their stuff in and bond and blah blah blah. He sighed. “I guess your right” He said, and then just looked at Nick, who just sat there, watching Louis from the computer chair. Louis groaned. “Must I do everything by myself?” He quizzed as he stood up from the bed and moved across the room, bending and putting his hands on the arms of the chair.
He pressed his lips to Nicks, not expecting the crashing of emotions and (sounds corny) sparks that accompanied the kiss. Nick kissed him back after a few seconds, stopping to drag his teeth along Louis’ lower lip, intensifying the kiss. Louis groaned lowly and slid himself onto Nicks lap, a knee on either side of him between the arms. He slid his hands into Nicks hair and gripped it, holding Nick closer. Nick ran his tongue along Louis’ lip, and Louis let him in without fighting it, enjoying the groan that rumbled deep in the older mans throat as Louis’ piercing brushed along Nicks tongue. Louis didn’t even hear his mom shouting for him, or the door open, but he heard his eldest sister scream and run down the steps yelling eww. He pulled back quickly, a smile playing on his lips. Nicks eyes opened and slightly widened. He stood quickly, knocking Louis down.
“Uhm.. I'm.. I'm sorry.. I…I need to go” He spoke and turned on his heel, practically running out of the house. Louis slammed his door and buried his face into the bed, recalling that this was the same feeling the last time he kissed Nick Grimshaw. He made a silent vow to never do it again
