The Homeboy and The Virgin

21-Junior

Chapter 21—Junior

You don’t care, I told myself, rubbing my eyes as I stared in the bathroom mirror. I had wiped all traces of Duke off of me, or so I tried to do. But I couldn’t wipe him from my memory, scrub soap against my brain so I forgot all the ways he made me feel. I wasn’t about to cry. I didn’t sleep with him because he gave me false promises. I was now 100% sure Duke had meant everything he said about loving me, about wanting to give it a try. You couldn’t fake the pain in his eyes, or the way they became wet the minute I told him I hadn’t loved him back.

     I heard the door slam close, and I hoped he wouldn’t be too angry at me. It was just…. Revenge. Hadn’t he wanted the same thing against me? For something I hadn’t even done? Those few sentences I had told him, the evil words we had flung at each other, and my faked nonchalant attitude wasn’t enough to cover what really needed to be said. But the moment was over now. I couldn’t call him back and apologize.

    I wouldn’t call him back and apologize.

   “Do what ya gotta do to protect yourself,” I said out loud, quoting my older brother. He had instilled that in me from birth, it seemed. Protect myself.

   I flung open the door and didn’t even look at the bed. Instead, I ventured out of the room entirely, pausing only to grab the shoes I had brought with me last night—a pair of boots. The house was quiet. And then screaming. Loud, angry yelling. Chris, I noted vaguely. Shrieks, high-pitched and more flustered than pissed, though. Rena.

  Feeling like I was in a haze, I moved towards the sound. If he laid a hand on Rena, I would punch him in the throat. But I didn’t have that chance. By the time I got upstairs, Chris was flinging the door open. “That’s not my fuckin’, baby,” he said, motioning for Rena to get out.

   Deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. “Chris—“ I tried, but Rena rushed past me, running and crying.

   I tried to go after her, but she moved faster than me, catching me by surprise. She was already in her car by the time was I downstairs. I only saw her pull her raggedy car out the driveway and speed down the street. I turned around but Chris was knocking into me, too, glaring. “How long have you known?” he demanded.

   “Since yesterday,” I told him.

   He shook his head. “Fuck girls.”

   “That’s what got you in this predicament in the first place, you asshole.” Knowing I was angry more at myself than him, I decided to take it out on Chris anyway. I pushed him in the chest, towards the door.

  Instead of striking back at me, he laughed. “I guess you’re right.” His voice was devoid of actual humor, though. He sounded angry and bitter and…. Scared. “But if she thinks for a minute she’s keepin’ that baby and expectin’ me to help take care of—“

   I punched him. Hard. His nose made a loud pop noise when I hit him. “If you think you’re gonna leave my best friend to take care of your baby—“

   He loomed over me, attempting to look dark, but it was hard to do with his nose already swelling. “She should’ve kept her legs closed.”

    “And you should’ve kept it in your pants,” I growled back. “It takes two to make a baby, so toughen up and talk to her about it.”

   “I told her I didn’t want the baby.”

   “Tellin’ somebody and talkin’ to them is two different things.” I crossed my arms, standing on the tops of my toes so I could look him eye to eye. “I suggest you go fix everything before I break your face.”