Letting go.

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April 14, 2001

Dear Kevin,

I know we came to the end.  I know hard for both of us to let go especially when we think and remember the moments we shared, pains we suffered, laughter's we enjoy, tears we wiped, joys we lingered, & dreams we built.

I don't want things to be left unfinished, hanging unanswered. I want you to do the right thing. I want you to let go of any unselfishness, don't hold on to something that are meant to be. Marry her. I know GOD has prepared me for this.

Remember yung sinabi ko sa yo? How I wish life will be as simple as before. Konting tampuhan napapatch-up na natin just the presence of one of us, kumpleto na.  All the storms we struggled. Lahat nalagpasan natin.

I don't know what went wrong..I'm still trying to find the answer pero siguro ganon talaga. No matter how hard we tried minsan there are things that are not meant to be. No matter how we hold on some things slip away no matter how we chase for them. They move away.

Minsan, inisip ko na sumbatan ka sa lahat. Isipin ko na you deserve all these things.  Pero di ko magawa sabi mo nga di ba I am the person na di marunong magalit, mahaba ang pisi.  Kahit masakit I can't imagine nga kung paano mo nagawa lahat ng ito sa akin.  Do I deserve this?  Do I deserve to be betrayed by the person I love and trusted most? Pero siguro, God let me experience the pain kasi He knows that I am stronger than you.  Ako yung mas makakatanggap at makakaunawa sa ating dalawa.  Ako yung mas madaling makakasurvive.  Pero alam mo minsan, tinanong ko rin Sya.kasi alam naman Nya kung gaano kita kamahal kung paano ako nagpapray sa Kanya for you. How I stick with you.  At kung gaano kasakit kung mawawala ka.  Tapos, ganito pa ang nangyari?

But He let me experience the greatest love of all. To wish for somebody happiness even if you re not part of it. To forgive somebody even if that somebody cause you so much pain. To let go of the most important person in your life even he means so much to you.

Pero me hangganan naman lahat. How I wish I could hold on. Pero nanghihina na rin ako. Siguro hanggang dito na lang talaga.  I fight for our love alam mo yan pero di ko kaya mag-isa gawin yon. It takes the two of us.  Through ups and downs I was there for you.wishing and hoping someday, sometime, na tayo na talaga. But some things really meant not to be.

For years that we are together I showed how much I love you. I did my best.

Masakit lang isipin na sa paglalaro mo ng apoy nadarang ka. Huli na para makaiwas. Like you, nanghihinayang din ako sa lahat.. Sana lang nag-ingat ka, sana lang hinintay mo ko.. sana lang. 

Pero nangyari na lahat, we have to move on..

You always ask me kung gaano kita kamahal di ba? At kung naramdaman ko ba na mahal mo ako?  Oo naman, naramdaman ko rin yung love mo. There were not even a single dull moment with you I did feel the love that a girl can ask from a boy.

I love you more than my life, everything moves around you..

And there is nothing I won't do for that love. Even if it means letting you go.

Please don't make it hard for both of us. Im letting you go because I know that's the best thing to do. Im letting you go because I love you.  Alam mo kung gaano kahirap sa akin di ba?  But I know God has plans for both of us. 

I will always include you in my prayer, I will always be your friend. Dunn naman tayo nagsimula di ba and that's were gonna be till the end.

I just want you to be happy. Gusto ko maging masaya kaeven if your happiness does not include me.

This time, gawin mo yung tama, don't worry about me, I will be fine don't worry about anything, God will provide.

I am sorry for any of my shortcomings. 

Dont wory, matagal na kitang pinatawad, no single bitterness nor anger in my heart.  I will only cherish  good memories and lessons I have learned.

Promise me, you'll make the most of what you have.

Gusto ko maging masaya ka.

Wala na ko sa tabi mo para icorrect ang mga mali wala na ko para alisin at ibangon  ka sa pagkakadapa mo. You can no longer depend on me. I did bring out the best in you and I know you're always be.

Pag-Pray mo rin ako ha? Na sana maging masaya rin ako. Na sana matagpuan ko rin yong guy na mamahalin at magmamahal sa akin..

Mamimiss kita..ingat ka na lang lagi ha.

-Kyreen

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Tumatak sa aking isip lalo na sa puso ang bawat katagang sinambit ni Kyreen sa kanyang sulat.

Ito ay isang liham na aking nabasa dulot ng aking pangangalkal sa PC sa office.

It's Monday, kaya wala akong masyadong ginagawa kaya't naisipan kong mangalkal from previous files of their previous employees. Ang mission ko talaga e maghanap ng notes for me to improve my accounting specialties. Para mapadali ko ang aking mga trabaho when peek seasons. Or when closing of books. Until makita ko ang letter na to entitled by the name of the guy, probably (I just changed their name for privacy, though unprivate na itong pagpublish ko). Sobrang natouch talaga ako sa girl. How strong she is to face that king of situation in a very positive way.

After reading this letter. I continue to browse some stuffs, hoping na may reply si boy. Di naman ako nadisappoint til' I found it. It really breaks my heart, kahit first stanza pa lang ng reply nya ang nabasa ko.