Hangover is Magic

Rainbow Dash woke up on the couch, having passed out there after a heavy night of drinking. Her wings were tangled up in a mess of the sheets, which had been there ever since she'd had a quest over weeks ago, her blanket was wrapped up in a ball around one of her hind legs. The pillow was nowhere to be seen, at least from where she lay.

She had little recollection of how she'd gotten home, but it was already nearing ten and the sun was shining in ever so painfully. Standing up to close the blinds she felt remarkably good, and figured she had to still be at least a little bit drunk. The beginnings of a headache were definitely there, but she figured it wouldn't come in full force for at least another hour or so. Dash couldn't help but smile.

"Must've been a good one," she said. Her thoughts were still jumbled, but her bladder was definitely registering her urgent need to pee.

She dragged herself groggily to the bathroom and haphazardly pointed her rear above the toilet. Her folds parted slightly as she squatted down and a thick, dark yellow stream of urine squirted into the toilet bowl. Dash couldn't help but sigh, listening to her powerful stream hitting the water. As she relieved herself, her nose picked up a distinct difference in the smell her urine carried. She had felt it the night before, but now it was certain: she was coming into heat again. Dash smirked – it was going to be fun.

As her bladder emptied, she felt a weight shift in her bowels. She pushed slightly and was rewarded with a long, sputtering discharge of gas. She pushed again, her tail hole puckering, but nothing happened. The stubborn clump of waste refused to move any further. After another try, Dash frowned. "Great, now I'm backed up. Again," she muttered as she tried to push one final time. Realizing that her waste wasn't willing to come out, Dash took a piece of toilet paper and wiped her puckered tailhole, but as expected, it didn't pick up anything. She ripped of another piece and gave her privates a wipe, stealing a quick sniff of the paper. "Yep, definitely coming into season."

Dash flushed the toilet and sauntered over to her kitchen where she poured herself a huge glass of water. She figured, rightfully so, that she had to be quite dehydrated, at least if the color of her pee was of any indication. As she drank, she spotted a greasy, hastily wrapped package on the kitchen counter. Lifting up the corner, she was met with the sight of a slightly dubious veggie kebab.

"Oh yeah, we raided the food stand," she thought and wondered "must've passed out before I had the chance to take care of this bad boy. Even went for the Extra Large." She opened the package further and in the light of day it started to look a little bit sad. Grease had soaked through the bread and the insides were completely room temperature. She wondered if it had gone off from sitting on the counter all night. Her stomach, however, was grumbling for breakfast and as there was little else to eat in the house, those worries were quickly swept aside. She took a sniff and figured it didn't smell off – and it wasn't as if she'd never rolled the dice on badly stored street food before. And maybe getting some new food in her would help the pestering turd in her bowels to get a move on.

She took a nibble, then another. It was cold and greasy, but perfectly fine, though in her hungover state anything greasy and salty would have been just the best thing ever. It only took her a couple of minutes to make short work of the whole thing. She washed the whole thing down with another tall glass of water. Her tummy now full and her thirst quenched, she walked back to her couch. Feeling a slight draft, she pulled her pajama bottoms on, before lying back down. The headache was starting to come on stronger now, which had to mean she was finally sobering up. She pulled a blanket over herself and closed her eyes, resigned to the fact that she was not going to anything, at all, all day. Her stomach gurgled again and with a gentle push, another hot helping of gas erupted from her bottom, slightly lightening the weight in her bowels. She giggled a little at how gross she was being and silently thanked Celestia that no one else was around to witness it.