The Amazing Tail

On a day much like today, but it wasn't today, it was another day. Joseph and his friends Will, Kyle, and Sam were on a totally not gay and stupid quest to find the Golden Xbox Controller. In order to get to the Golden Xbox Controller, they would have to cross through the Rainbow of Sadness, swim through The Lake of Nothing, and the worst of them all, they must fight the destroyer of worlds. His name is Glittersnizzle. When Joseph and his friends got to the Rainbow of Sadness they were immediately ambushed by cupcake dragons and ice cream cannibals. Joseph being the wuss he was, ran away like a kid running away from a police officer for stealing candy, leaving Kyle, Will, and Sam to fend for themselves. Will pulled out his Halo 2 Battle Rifle, but a cupcake dragon grabbed it and threw it in the boiling pit of cold lemonade. Kyle and Sam both pulled out their  miniguns, but the Ice Cream Cannibals destroyed the guns by throwing acid sprinkles at them. Joseph saw his friends from afar and felt guilt building up inside of his for leaving his friends to die. He knew what he had to do. Joseph began to swallow red gummy bears and caught on fire. Joseph then ran as fast as a retarded four year old on a sugar high towards the sugar demons. 

"GUYS GET THE HELL AWAY!!!!!" Joseph yelled to his friends. Kyle, Will, and Sam saw Joe and ran away from the sugar demons, afraid of what he was about to do. "SUPRISE MUTHAFUCKAS!!!" Joseph yelled as he threw himself to the sugar demons. when he hit a Ice Cream Cannibal, he exploded killing every demon that was in a 5 meter radius. Joseph's friends saw the crater Joseph had made from the explosion and thought he died but it turns out Joseph was wearing his explosion proof, 1940's scuba suit. Everyone laughed and continued on to find that thing I mentioned at the top of the page.

As they trekked onward, they made it to the Lake of Nothing. I kid you not when i say this, there was nothing. Not even a puddle of water. Just a giant, dried up, bottomless lake. Kyle threw a glow stick down the lake to see how deep it was. 59 seconds later, the guys heard a loud 'OW!' and whatever said 'OW' was coming out of the hole. Kyle pulled out pump action shotgun, Sam pulled out two .500 Smith and Wesson Magnum, Will pulled out a Boltshot and an Energy Sword, and Joseph pulled out a Drake CD and a speaker. After 59 more seconds of waiting for the beast to come out, something jumped out of the hole and landed on the ground. It was none other than the thing the we all fear today, Weeaboo Jones. 

"Well shit. How are we supposed to kill an almost invincible creature?!" Will yelled.

"We will kill it like the cattle that it is!" Kyle yelled "ATTACK!!!!" Everyone ran at Weeaboo Jones. Weeaboo Jones created three shadow clones of himself and ordered his clones to attack Will, Kyle, and Sam, while he would take on Joseph alone. The first clone ran at Will holding a katana and some paper shuriken. But Will quickly killed it with an energy sword to the dick. Kyle killed the next clone by simply yelling that anime isn't real. Sam killed the last clone by a bullet to the dick, ass, and head. The three friends ran to Joseph, fearing for his life, when they stopped and saw something completely shocking. Joseph was weakening Weeaboo Jones with Drake's Hotline Bling song. Weeaboo Jones was on the ground writhing in pain. His ears were bleeding and his mouth was foaming like foam leaking out of a champagne bottle.

"A little help here! This won't subdue him for long!" Joseph yelled to his friends. Joseph's friends started to shoot at the weakened, disgusting, unhygienic, Weeaboo. 2 minutes 59 seconds later, Weeaboo Jones was on the verge of death. 

"Yo guys stop." Sam said to his friends (Mostly Joseph, since he was dabbing and whipping to Drake's Controlla). "Let's just get out of here."

"But how are we going to do that? We can't walk across the lake we'll fa-" Before Kyle could say anything else he saw that Joseph mad made a makeshift bridge out of dirt, sticks, trees, and the gay ninja shit that Weeaboo Jones had. Joseph then placed the makeshift bridge on top of the river and yelled:

"Hey guys you comin or what?!" Joseph's friends walked over to him, thanked him for making the bridge, walked on the bridge, and proceeded to find that thing I mentioned at the top of the page. The four brave men then made it to the Liar of Glittersnizzle. The liar was a hellish looking pyramid. With the fires of hell behind it. The temple was a blood red color and had the skulls of goats, horses, and other demons on it.

"Well, look who we have here. The four brats who I have heard so much about in the last 3 hours. And now you come to face the demon who will turn you into a bunch of PATHETIC SPINELESS WORMS!!!" A dark and raspy voice yelled from behind the four friends. The men of war turned around to see Glittersnizzle. His feet, legs, arms, and hands were made out of acid sprinkles, his body was a strawberry poptart, and his eyes were red and they could burn a hole through Arnold Schwarzenegger himself.

"So this is the famous Glittersnizzle that we have heard about!" Joseph yelled. "You look like a heaping pile of AIDS!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Glittersnizzle yelled. Glittersnizzle's right arm turned into a chainsaw. "YOU'RE FIRST TO DIE!" Glittersnizzle then swung the chainsaw hand at Joseph, attempting to slice Joseph in half.

"Oh hell no!" Kyle yelled as he shot a rocket out of his rocket launcher at the chainsaw hand. The chainsaw hand exploded when the rocket made contact with the chainsaw hand. Glittersnizzle howled in pain as he felt his entire right arm get blown off by a rocket. 

"KILL HIM!" Sam yelled as he pulled out his Thompson M1921 Submachine Gun, Kyle aimed the same rocket launcher that he used to blow Glittersnizzle's arm off at Glittersnizzle, Will pulled out a Spartan Laser, and Joseph pulled out his Rivet Gun and his scouter. 

"DIE MUTHAFUCKA!" Kyle yelled as he and everyone else shot out bullets, lasers, rivet, and rockets at Glittersnizzle. 1 hour (and a lot of ammo) later, the four brave souls managed to cripple Glittersnizzle. Joseph then walked until he was in close range of Glittersnizzle, threw his scouter to Sam, squatted, and yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Joseph screamed. The ground started rumble and bits and pieces of the pyramid started to fall off. Glittersnizzle was suprised at what he saw.

"A Saiyan? No matter. You will die just like I did to your Uncle Bardock!" Glittersnizzle yelled at Joseph.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Joseph continued to scream. This time the ground started to crack and chunks of earth and the pyramid started to fly off and crash into eachother. After a minute, Joe stopped screaming and looked at  Glittersnizzle menacingly.

"Sam!" Will yelled. "What does the scouter say about Joseph's power level?!" 

"IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam yelled back to Will. Will and Kyle's mouth's were opened in shock. There is no possible way that that was right!

"KAME!" Joseph yelled as a blue aura surrounded him.

"Saiyan power has failed before." Glittersnizzle said as he charged up for his Special Beam Cannon.

"HAME!" Joseph yelled. Joseph started to form a blue ball of KI in the palms of his hands.

"And it will fail." Glittersnizzle said as he put his index and middle finger together on his left hand and extended his left arm out. two small balls of energy started to form on the tips of his index and middle finger. "Again! Special Beam Cannon!" Glittersnizzle then shot the Special Beam Cannon at Joseph.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Joseph yelled as he shot out his Kamehameha toward Glittersnizzle. Joseph's Kamehameha' power outmatched Glittersnizzle's Special Beam Cannon as Joseph's Kamehameha obliterated Glittersnizzle's Special Beam Cannon and was going to obliterate Glittersnizzle next.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Glittersnizzle yelled as Joseph's Kamehameha hit him. Glittersnizzle then exploded destroying everything in a 10 mile radius. When the smoke and debris cleared up after the explosion, Joseph saw a giant pile of ashes where Glittersnizzle was. 

"I guess he should've worn some sunscreen" Joseph said to his friends. Joseph's friends broke down laughing and continued on to find that Golden Xbox Controller that I just remembered. When Joseph and his friends got to The Chamber of The Golden Xbox Controller they found out that there wasn't a Golden Xbox Controller, But instead a Golden Game Cube. After that adventure Joseph and his friends sold the Game Cube on ebay and never went on any adventure that had Weeaboos and Sugar Demons again. 

Inspired by House_Owner's story in Do Not Laugh.

:)