Something That We Need To Talk About..

Part 1

  Growing up I always heard, "your nothing to me, you're ugly and fat, I hate you and my favorite you are a mistake, etc." If you hear it enough you will start to believe it and it's hard especially when it's from the people you love. I always thought that I meant nothing to people when I was growing up and I still feel like that now and i'm sixteen years old. I have been through it all the bullying, depression, rape, abuse, being neglected and more. It takes a toll on you no matter what you do to hide it, it always comes back even if you push it down so deep in your heart. Everyone says that life has its up and downs and its true, its not a lie when they say that is 100% true that life definitely has its ups and downs.


In my life it seems like there are are more downs then ups. I also know what it is like to feel hated by everyone it's the worst feeling in the world. There are some days I just want the get in bed and just stay there and forget the world. Other days I get out of bed and put a fake smile on and I act like everything is amazing and i'm having the best day ever. I'm always there for anyone that needs help, whether it is them needing advice, a friend, a hug, or even someone that they can just cry and vent to and anything else I can do for them. My point is that i'm always there for anyone that needs help and no one is there for me when I need it.


When there is something wrong with me everyone will know because I get really quiet and I don't say much or if I do talk barely anything is said from me when i'm hurting. What people don't understand is why I get really quiet. The reason why is because I am trying to think about what i'm going to do with what is going on. Some people don't understand what others go through. I'm not saying I have been through everything but with what I have gone through I understand a lot of what is going on that's why people can come to me with what they are going through cause I will always be there even if you don't want me to be there.


I know that this sounds like it's all about me but it's based on my life and what I have gone through and it's all true sadly. I can't change what you or I have gone through all I can do is help the best I can. Now i'm not going to lie to you it's going to be the worst thing you can talk about no matter what it is. The reason I say this is because it's not easy opening up to what is wrong with you it is hard, especially if you just bottle things up until you explode and you can't do it any more. I have lost friends because they killed themselves because they couldn't do it any more, or they drink and do drugs. Me, myself am completely against doing all of that because I have seen what it does, it messes with your mind.