Hardship (Kageyama x Hinata oneshot)

HARDSHIP (ONE SHOT)

"KAGEYAMA! DID YOU BACK OUT JUST NOW?! WHAT WAS THAT TOSS?"

I shouted at Kageyama thinking he would realize what he has done. He isn't like this, he was never like this.

"What's happening to you? are you getting tired of playing volleyball? WE JUST WON KAGEYAMA! WE WON! WE DEFEATED
USHIWAKA!"

The seniors were all getting closer to us, apparently Yachi-san called all of them to stop this ridiculous fight, even
I think it's ridiculous.

"You wouldn't know."

Kageyama said under his breath.

"What did you say?"

Kageyama repeated what he said in a more louder and a more aggressive voice.

"YOU WOULDN'T KNOW! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE FEELING OF BEING PRESSURED BY YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS AND TEAMMATES!"

He grabbed the ball nearest to him and aimed at me like he was ready to spike it in my face. Tanaka-san went to stop
Kageyama from from throwing the ball in to my face. I couldn't stop my emotions. It's just that Kageyama isn't the type to
feel pressured. He's probably more confident than any of us. He's the king remember?

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!"

Seeing how Daichi-san finally erupted, made me think that 'It's going to stop now.'
He grebbed both the colars of our uniform and threw us apart from each other.
Suga-san came to my side and Asahi-san went to Kageyama's side.

"Kageyama is right, Hinata."

Suga-san whispered to me, making sure I'm calm to hear him.

"I don't understand Suga-san."

I saw from the corner of my eye, Asahi-san talking to Kageyama. Nishinoya-san came right after. Daichi-san was
talking to the janitor, probably apologizing for the fight a while ago, begging him to not report us to the dean.
I couldn't understand why Kageyama would feel this way. I mean, am I not that good anymore for him? Am I not
keeping up to his skills and talents? This is the first time I'm seeing Kageyama in this state and it's making me as horrible.

"Hinata, being a setter isn't as good as you think, the team depends on us more as we touch the ball most of the time. We
are the main pillar of the team, the one that keeps the team going. Ever since we won with Kageyama, everybody thinks
that he would bring back the Karasuno that was once unknown. They thought that Karasuno would be such a powerhouse school if
Kageyama stayed. I know that if people did this to you, you would also feel the same way Kageyama's feeling right now.
But Hinata, try to understand the feeling of being the one people depend on, there are more than a thousand people in this
school who expects him to bring Karasuno in to nationals again."

Suga-san was right. I was just trying to focus on my feelings and my wants rather than focusing on both our feelings. I saw
Suga-san sigh and stood up to go to Kageyama's side. I don't know what to feel about it. I don't know what to say to
Kageyama after this. How can I be so stupid, thinking only of myself? I recalled the time when I wasn't at my best.
I knew Kageyama tried hard to lift my feelings up, just like that time when we were at the camp with Kenma and the others.
He practiced hard to give me the tosses that I want. I can't think of anything right now besides him. How can I be so happy while
I don't realize that he's suffering. What kind of a person am I? Suga-san was right all along. I need to put myself in their
place to know how they feel. To know what they feel. Now that he's in this state, I don't know what to do with him.
I don't think I can face him right now. I might not be able to say Hi. How can this be so hard? How can this lead to something
this complicated. All I wanted was a toss from Kageyama. That was all I wanted.

"Hinata."

It's Daichi-san this time. How can I face this person if I can't face my feelings right now?

"I know it's been hard on you for the last few days, and I don't want to say to you to try and understand Kageyama and do
nothing about it. Please try your best to help him get back up to his feet and toss you the kind of toss that you want.
Help him overcome his depression from the pressure everyone's giving him. Help him Hinata. It's probably only you who we can all
depend on."

I thanked Daichi-san and said that I would keep his words in mind and try my best to help him in ways I could.

I was left there, sitting on the floor, contemplating on what to do and what to say to the person beside me. I always want him
to be the one tossing to me, nobody else. I was happier when I saw him happy tossing to me and hitting it in the spot
he ordered me to hit to. I miss those days when we would practice randomly when the third years are not around. Where is that
Kageyama these past few days? I miss that Kageyama.

"Kageyama."

I said softly, enought to make him listen to me.

"What?"

He sounded as angry as I imagined.

"I'm sorry."

I know he wouldn't let his pride down, because he knows he's the right one in this fight.

"I didn't know how you felt after the competition and I only focused on myself. I thought that you would do a lot more
better after the competition because we made a name for ourselves and you were proud to have made that. I didn't realize
that you were already suffering. Suga-san was trying to let me understand your situation. It helped me realize that even you,
the great Kageyama, could get pressured. I-i don't know what to say to you anymore. I can't get this feeling out of my
stomach and it still makes me worried to think that we would drift further apart from each other. Kageyama, I'm sorry
for being the stupidest booyfriend you could have. I think you deserve better."

We weren't looking at each other the whole time I was speaking. I heard a small snif coming from Kageyama's side. I looked
over and I saw his eyes tearing up. I slightly panicked but made sure not to show it. It's been hard for him and
I wasn't able to notice that despite our deep relationship. Why am I like this?

"I don't know if I should be sorry to you, but I think I should be. I know volleyball is different from our relationship
and I shouldn't get personal things in volleyball. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to give you the tosses that you want. I
know that this will sound as childish as it could get but the fact that you shouted at me kind of ticked me of. It hasn't
been that long since we last fought and I thought that our relationship would end. The pressure was just an excuse so that
the team wouldn't find out. You know that I am never going to be pressured by those things because I know myself and I know
that I am good but Oikawasan is a different issue."

He faced me silently and grabbed my knees. He placed our knees together and held my hand close to his side. I was startled
and I didn't know what to do with this kind of situation.

"Kageyama, it's not the right time you know. You're in a slumo and everyone can see that. There's no time for our relationship.
you need to get back on your feet and prove to them that you are not this weak."

Kageyama pulled me in closer to him, making me squat. Damn that height of his.

"Thanks Hinata. I knew that choosing is for the best."

I thought 'so he could say things like this huh?' but even before he do it, Tsukishima spoked.

"I knew you guys were hiding something."

He grebbed his headphones and his knee pads lying on the floor and walked out of the gym. We're dead.