A/N: So I'm in one of my moods and I heard this song while soaking in the tub and thought it'd make a great one shot. It's called Without You by CMA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqrj0Lr81WQ
That's the link and I highly recommend listening while you read! It doesn't matter if you're a slow reader or a fast one, it's a six minute long song and I gave leeway for everybody. It's meant to be emotional so you know, read at your own risk.
Here we go
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I could hear them talking about what was put online – no, scratch that I could hear them arguing about what had been put online. It wasn’t me though, it was leaked on there somehow some way and it was tearing us all apart because the reactions were more hateful than usual. I was sat in a room opposite the one they said they’d be “discussing the issue” in and everything they said only reverberated off the hallway walls and flew into ear shot.
I was currently curled into a ball on one of the loveseats with silent tears streaming down my cheeks. It was time. I couldn’t handle this anymore, I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore, I couldn’t put up with this relationship anymore – I couldn’t do this to all those family members and fans and innocent helpless girls who dream of being with him. I don’t deserve him, and he deserves so much better.
“Talk to her then! Why don’t you talk to her?! She’s your fucking girlfriend for heaven’s sake!” His best friend roared, and his words pierced my heart like no other. I got up from the sofa and wiped at my face with the back of my long sleeve sweater – actually it was his long sleeve sweater. He had given it to me last weekend to wear because I had run out of clothes while traveling with him and his mates.
“I don’t know how to! How the hell am I supposed to bring up something like this?! I already know how much fucking pain she is in, okay?! You don’t even know half of it!” My boyfriend yelled back and I walked up to the door leading to the hallway with great caution, afraid I would make an unnecessary noise and cause them to bring their attention to me.
As I leaned against the doorframe and peered into their room across from me I could see their shadows. He was pacing back and forth and his best friend had his hands tangled in his hair as he sat at a chair. The lump that grew in my throat hours earlier was still with me and it was only getting bigger as I thought about what I needed to say – what I needed to do.
“I don’t think you get how hard this is for us. For me and for her. It’s absolute hell an –“ I crept to their room and knocked on the door even though it was wide open. Both his and his best friend’s eyes landed on me and I swallowed hard.
“Oh, babe – um, we just – I –“
“Can we go on a walk?” I interrupted him, trying to sound nonchalant but my voice wavered. He nodded hesitantly and dismissed himself from the argument he was having with his best friend.
“Is - Is something wrong?” He asked me as we made our way down the corridor and to the side exit of the building. It was a hotel, the one we were staying in for tonight – well he and his band were; I don’t think I will be here any longer.
I ignored his question and pushed the door open to exit the hotel, letting the cold air rush into my lungs as I took in a deep shaky breath and ran through the lines I had been planning to say for the past month.
“I believe it’s time I leave,” His eyebrows furrowed at my statement and I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he gulped.
