Finding Beauty

Chapter 15

~Beauty~

The next few days could only be described as strange.

The day after my dinner with The Beast, I woke up to Carina bringing paint and brushes into the room. She had said it was time to add some pizzazz and personality to the room.

Why was my capture's maid renovating my room? Was she even allowed to do that? The conclusion that lead me to was that Carina wasn't bad at all. She was just a woman caught in a tricky situation. Maybe she couldn't help me escape even if she wanted to.

I had explained to her I was no good at art. Like...really bad. During sophomore year I had to take art and all I got from the teacher was fake smiles and "Nice try..." Although Carina said not to worry because all I'd have to do is paint my walls the color I wanted while she worked on a special piece that would go right above my bed.

Pretty soon the room was covered in tarps and we were covered in overalls covered in paint.

"No peeking!" she shouts when she catches me looking over my shoulder at what she's doing.

"Sorry!" I giggle. She stands on top of a tarp on the bed with a paint brush and tray. "How do you paint while standing on a bed? You must be very talented."

She laughs. "Yes, I am."

I roll the baby blue paint onto the wall and sigh. My old room in my old apartment, the one I lived in before my father died, was baby blue. When I had told Grayson about it, he offered to help me paint my new room the same color so I could feel closer to my dad. The thought behind the gesture was incredibly sweet but I hadn't wanted to do it. It would just make me sad my father wasn't around anymore.

The thought of Grayson makes my eyes water. I set the roll down and wipe my hands on my coveralls. "I'm gonna step out for a second. I think the paint fumes are getting to me," I lie.

"Now, just hold on a second," Carina says. I hear her pin a tarp over the piece she's painting and come off the bed. She gently touches my shoulder. "Are you sure it's the paint? I might be wrong but I think someone feels a little home sick."

"Nah. I just need a minute." I walk out the door and into the hall. Resting my back on the wall, I place my head in my hands.

It would have felt so good to talk to someone about everything I'm feeling but there's no way I could do that with Carina. If I tell her about Grayson she could go out and kill him or send Gale to do so. I don't know if I truly believe someone as sweet as Carina would do something like that but I don't want to take the chance. She works for my kidnapper after all.

Taking a breath, I look up to find Gale watching me from the stairs. He's frozen with his hand on the railing and his foot almost taking a step.

"Oh- I'm sorry. I was just walking down and saw you. Are you okay?" he asks. He's looking at me like I was some exotic creature he could scare away with any sudden movement

"Yea. Just the paint fumes..." I say recycling the lie.

Gale takes a seat on one of the steps and stares at my skeptivally. "Are you sure that's what it is?"

The fustration and sadness I've been holding for a while comes out. "No! That's no what it is!" I stomp over to Gale and stand in front of him. "You took me away from my life! My family! And I miss them...I miss them so much..." I don't try to hold my tears, I let them roll down my cheeks.

Gale shifts uncomfortably but doesn't say anything.

I want to talk about Grayson and how wonderful he was to me. I want to talk about every single one of his beautiful qualities. But I don't. Instead I talk about something that's also been bothering me. The big hole in my heart.

I take a seat beside him.

"Sometimes I hate myself for missing her. My mother, for past few years, has done nothing but been a heavy burden for me to carry. She never stopped doing drugs no matter how many times she was arrested or how many times I begged her. Ever since my dad died, they've consumed her life." I take a shaky breath, willing my voice to work. It all needs to come out. I've held it in my whole life and can't anymore.

"I use to blame myself. I thought maybe I wasn't a good enough daughter. I wasn't enough to make her stop. And..." I give a dry laugh. "And even after I go meet a murderer to go get her out of her own mess...You know what she does?"

Gale stares blankly, the colorful vain like things going across his face reflecting my colorful array of emotions.

"She said,'I'm just glad it wasn't me.' " I pick at the dry paint on my coveralls, reliving the scene all over again trying to make myself hate her and not care about her. I can't.

"The crazy thing is... I still love her. She's flawed but she's my mom. We've had a lot of bad times but I'll always remeber the good ones. She was such a good mother before my father died. Even though she got up at 6:00 to work till 5:00 she always made time for me. To make cookies, play dolls, and watch movies." I sniffle and smile at the memories.

"That sounds lovely," Gale says with his own small smile.

"Yea, it was. But she's not that person anymore. I won't deny that. If I ever get back home I'll forgive her but I won't live with her anymore. I'll reach out to child protective services and go to college, make a life for myself. I'm not going to let her hold me down anymore. If she changed, that's wonderful. I would gladly come back into her life but until then...I'll love her from a distance. It's all I can do."

Letting all of that off my shoulders feels good but I realize I just let it out in the company of my kidnapper. I open my mouth to cover up or apologize but he beats me to it.

"You'd forgive her? After all she's put you through?" he questions, his forehead crinkled in thought.

"Yea..." It feels good to say. "Yes, I would."

Gale nods. "Whether she knows it or not, she's lucky to have a daughter like you."

Author's Note- Hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter.

Question: Would you have forgiven Belle's mother if you were in Belle's place?

Let me know in the comments!