Nocturnal Souls

Chapter 7 : Complications

   I followed the long hallway before stepping foot into a overcrowded elevator. A wheelchair, about 5 nurses and about 3 visitors. I excuse myself into the little space near the doors and push the button. My head rushed with questions as the elevator closed. Has he awakened yet? Will he be happy to see me? I almost missed my stop had someone not  tapped me on my shoulder. I scurried off the elevator and into the cold hallway. The cold hospital breeze kissed my skin and gave me goosebumps. I wrap my arms around me for warmth. " .. 102b...104...106b". I reach for the knob before hesitating. Was this a good idea? What will i even say? My palms start to sweat and my throat starts to close. " Excuse me miss?". I hear a voice behind me and quickly turn around. I was faced with a lady, doctor equipment in hand hovering over me. Her hair was short and curly with brown highlights, brown eyes and light skin. ".. I uh.. i'm a visitor ". I held up my visitor pass to the nurse. " Well.. what are you waiting for?". You to leave me alone. I turn back around and breathe. I felt her blazing eyes in the back of my head, i opened the door. My heart sank to my shoes when I saw Dre in the hospital bed. He looked lifeless, rarely hanging on to life while the machines steadily pumped life into him. The nurse bumped past me with her equipment muttering a " excuse me" under her breath.

The nurse scurried her stuff over to the left side of Dre. She plugged her stuff into the wall followed by a heavy sigh. I managed to pull myself my thoughts and sat down on the couch by the window. My right leg shook while my hands intwined with each other. They said he was okay. This- This is not ' okay' . " Excuse me.." I started, The lady turned to me. " Why isn't he wake yet? Is something wrong?"I asked with a lump in my throat. She picked up her information book . " Evidently, Mr.Williams has slipped into a coma since his arrival yesterday" She responses nonchalantly . My heart pounded and my head dropped into my hands. I could feel the water sting my eyes but i blank it away. I couldn't stop thinking about how this was all my fault. Why didn't I just listen? " H- how long will he be in his coma?" I stuttered. " Comas can last from several days to several weeks. You don't actually have a ' due date' for coming out of a coma, some people don't come out at all. Mr.Williams's injuries were quite severe but he is lucky to still be here, my advice is to hope for the best" The nurse said before taking Dre's temperature and blood pressure. Hope for the best? That's all? The BEST?? He could Die but she wants me to hope for the best? I put my head down into my hands and stare at the floor. I couldn't believe how f*cked up my life is until now. Why am I even here? And why do I care so much?
* 50 minutes later*
It felt as if hours had passed by as I watched the nurse continuously operate on Dre. Through the procedures I slouched my back into the couch and bit the inside of my cheek. Too many thoughts went in and out of my head and I had no answer to each of the questions that followed them. I was so lost in thought that i didn't even notice the nurse was packing up. She walked over to me " Well looks like i'm done here for this morning, Mr.Williams needs his rest if your hoping for a speedy recovery" She said almost nonchalantly, and it pissed me off. How could she just go on like she doesn't give a shit about this young man fighting for his life. I sat up in my seat , " Can I have a minute alone with Dre' please". " Ma'am he needs his res-". " Please! Just let me have this " I interrupted her. She gave out a heavy sigh and picked up her equipment and put them into her cart, she walked back over to me. " 3 minutes " She said vaguely as she shut the door behind her. I unfolded my legs and let them meet the floor again. My legs felt like jelly , as if all the blood was inside my knees and was rushing to get to the right places. I walked over to the right side of Dre and stared at the monitor.
Please keep beeping..please
I let out a deep sigh. I looked down at his face, his pale face. " Well look at this, this is unfortunate " I mutter. Now i'm not coldhearted , but i've never been ' good' at this type of thing. Comforting someone is something I don't specialize in, maybe it's because nobody comforted me. We all deal with grief differently, some people cry their eyes out , some fall into a deep depression, some blame the universe, and some do all of the above. I guess i'm the one percent of people that go numb, or deny the crippling feeling in our chest so we don't fall apart completely.
I clear my throat, " I don't know if you can hear me..-"
God this is so stupid
" I know your stronger than this I mean , you practically came back to life! " My breathing slowed. " Just.. please keep fighting..your family needs you, your friends do, I-.. " I stop myself, what exactly am I to him? I clear my throat again, " I'll visit you everyday and don't worry about the project, i'll bust my ass for the A. It's the least i can do.. So long Dre". I mutter before walking towards the door, without looking back.
* 11pm October 21st*
Over 7 hours of studying alone and continuous note taking alone can be very nerve wracking and all the more lonely, but i owed it to Dre to do this right. Normally it doesn't take me more than at least two hours to study but a lot of things were clouding my mind, i couldn't shake the ' what if ' thoughts. Every since I left the hospital I felt uneasy, but also like i was cold from the inside out. My head pounded and my vision became blurry, I had gone another day on a empty stomach. I stumbled from my bed and to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Food has been the last thing on my mind with everything that is going on. I don't did comfort in eating anymore , every bite I take of food makes me feel more disgusted and disappointed in myself. Ever since I lost her I lost my appetite, i lost touch with the world and I lost myself as well. While each day passes I get a little more thinner.. a little more smaller, I guess you can say this is my type of ' self harm' without even acknowledging it.
And the more weight I lost, I shrank into myself, out of the worlds reach.

           It's safer here.. starving to death

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Hey! So i managed to get at least 1,200 words in this chapter, not as long as I wanted it to be but it'll do. I'll try to be more active but as school is approaching it will be a struggle, I apologize for the wait. See you in the next chapter!