2 times, 1 time (Yoonmin)

三

10:55pm 9th of August

"Male in the early 20s, jumped of the hospital roof."

What?

"I'm not getting a pulse, doctor Pheong"

Are they talking about me?

"CHARGE, STAND BACK"

No definitely not me. I can't feel anything.

"No response, Doctor"

"Damn, time of death 10:56 pm 9th of August."

Is it August? I thought it was January.

JIMIN.

I need to see Jimin.

I wonder if he wants to see me. Like this.

Why the heck am I in a hospital.

Right.

I failed. Failed at being dead. Or to even become dead.

Oh the doors opening. Ah, a nurse. Maybe she can call Jimin for me.

"Hello, Mr. Min. I glad that you're awake, but unfortunately I have some news to tell you. And it's not good news."

What my fricking cancer broke loose or something? Well that would suck.

"Wait a minute, may I ask for how long I've been here and was there ever a boy visiting me?"

Yes, give me answers.

"That's why I'm here, I have something to tell you about Mr Park."

Spit it out already.
"Earlier today Mr. Park took his own life by jumping from this hospitals roof. It was around 22:40 we believe."

What? What is she telling me right now? I think I misunderstood.

"Excuse me... Are you sure it's him? He has grey hair, he's 165 cm tall."

Now she'll say sorry for mixing it up. Or I think she'll say that. Maybe.

"Yes I'm sorry that's him, I'll leave you for now Mr. Min. I'll come back in a bit so you can take your medicine."

That's a fake smile. I know.

These are real tears, tears of pain. Pure pain. That's all I can feel.

I know how to stop it. I can do it. Again, just to see you again my love. Anything for you.

Always. Remember, I'll do it so I'll see you again.

Let me just get out of this bed. Wow, it's all blurry. So blurry, the tears are difficult to see through. But I'll do it just for you. You're worth everything.

I love you.

I'll get up these stairs. Even though it hurts. Being alive without you breathing. Why should I, a horrible person be alive while you're dead? It's unfair.

It's all so unfair.

Unfair. Horrible.

--

11:20pm 9th August

I made it up the stairs. Is that blood on my clothes? That doesn't matter right know. The only thing that matters is you.

Park Jimin.

I'm coming for you.

I'm coming for your smile. Your laugh. Your tiny cute hands. And your grey hair.

I hope you'll still love me.
I'm coming for you now.

You're my everything.

I love you.