The Tale of the Ascendants

CHAPTER 11: Saving grace (1)

I WAS SITTING COMFORTABLY on the wooden chair near our pool. I scanned through the application papers and excitedly filled them out. Pinal na ang desisyon kong ipagpatuloy ang pormal na military training sa Academy para sumunod sa yapak nina Mommy at Daddy.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagsusulat nang lumapit sa akin si Mommy at agawin ang application paper na sinasagutan ko—may bakas ng kalungkutan ang reaksyon niya. Naupo siya sa harapan ko at nagbuntong-hininga.

"Hindi mo kailangang gawin ito, Penny," sabi niya. I eyed her in disbelief. I couldn't tell why she was like this all of a sudden. I thought, of all people, she would understand my choice. Nasa serbisyo rin siya gaya ni Daddy!

"Gusto ko 'to, mom. Don't worry. I know that the training there would be more intense than what I had during the service, but I can handle it. Besides, I'm your daughter. I inherited your strong will." I managed to say proudly. Mom just smiled a bit, but it didn't reach her eyes. She's faking it.

"Consider this, Penny." She handed me a different set of papers. It was an application form in one of the prestigious medical schools in the country. I returned it back while shaking my head in disagreement. Buo na ang desisyon ko.

"No, Mom. I can't do that. This is what I was born to be," I insisted. Simula bata pa lang ako, alam ko ng ito ang gusto ko. At hindi pa ito nagbabago sa kabila ng hirap na dinanas ko sa military service sa loob ng tatlong taon. Hindi ako basta-basta makukumbinsi ni Mommy na talikuran ang pangarap ko.

"Don't be like me," she said, full of remorse. "I have better plans for your future. Being in the Forces will just destroy my plans for you."

"Hindi kita maintindihan, Mom. Of all people, you must understand my choice. You'd been in this situation before,"giit ko sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang matinding kagustuhan ni mommy na pigilan ako sa desisyong ito.

She grabbed my hand and pressed it lightly. "That's why you need to trust me. Nanggaling na ako d'yan. I had no choice back then but to enter the Forces. But yours is different. I'm giving you a choice to take a different path—away from what I had."

"This is not so you, Mom. How could you talk like that about being a soldier? I thought you love the service." I might be wrong, then.

"This isn't my choice, Penny. If I only had a choice, I would definitely say no to this. Being a soldier is a responsibility that I need to fulfill for the sake of my family. In your case, you don't have to. Don't live in our shadows."

"I can't believe that you're saying that Mom." Since I was a child, I had looked up to her with so much respect and honor. For over the years, she had been my idol—my inspiration as a soldier. But hearing those things from her, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Hindi siya ang Colonel Everdale na labis kong tinitingala.

"I learned to love the Forces and everything about it despite the danger it brings, but I couldn't take the fact that you're going to risk your life, too. I can't let it happen." Halos mag-makaawa na siya sa aking huwag tumuloy.

I stood from my seat and looked at her sorrowful eyes. I understood what she really felt right now, but I was still certain with my choice.

"Sorry, Mom, but it's my call to make. Just trust me on this, okay?" I firmly said. As much as I hated to see her in pain, I needed to say it.

"No. You're going to that medical school and become a doctor, Penny. Don't live your life like I have. I want a normal life for you, anak," she still insisted. Hindi talaga siya magpapatalo sa usapang ito.