If Only | Seth X Jacob |

Chapter 4

Sorry if it's bad. I just didn't have a lot of time to work on it. (There's a bit where it might repeat. Comment if you see it )

Seth's POV

I woke up in a bright room. "There don't seem to be any sorts of injury. There's nothing I can do. Edward is there anything you can see in his thoughts," the voice of Carlisle said.

Edward stayed silent than the 'dream' I'd just had came back to me. If he'd been reading my thoughts than he would have seen...

"Nothing," he said. I could tell that it was a lie but if anyone else noticed they didn't say anything.

That's when Paul spoke up. "He's awake. Give him room," Paul looked down at me. "What happened," he asked.

I turned and hurled in a trash can. "I need to go for a run," I said and got up. Before anyone said anything I was out the front door of the Cullen's house. I phase and forced all thoughts put of my head except for one. Freedom. I ended up at the cliff I tried to jump off. The idea was tempting.

I knew I'd hurt more people but I couldn't help it. I allowed one thought to be free. 'I'm sorry' and I jumped phasing back to mortal. I knew if this were a book people would be booing for the lack of creativity. But it wasn't and nobody would here about my life.

I heard shouting from the top and saw two figures jump. It was obvious who. "I love you," I yelled not knowing really who too, and plunged into the water allowing as much water as possible to fill my lungs and for the second time felt darkness surround me.

p>Jacob's POV

"I love you," Seth yelled. I looked at Paul and saw the tears falling as we fell in. I've never seen Paul cry before.

We both grabbed his arms and dragged him up. "Is he breathing," I asked. He started to shake. Not because he was going to phase. No. He was about to break down.

"You need to be strong. For Seth,"he wiped the tears away and nodded. When he pressed his lips to Seth's to try and give him air I felt this pain in my chest.

I didn't pay attention to it and watched as Seth spat out water and looked up at us. Tears filled his eyes and Paul and I grabbed us and held him close to us. "Your never allowed to be alone again," Paul said.

"Yeah. You have to have someone with you at all times," I agreed.

"Thanks Jake," Paul said and picked Seth up carrying him away.

One Day Later

Seth's POV

The rest of the pack was busy so they left me with Edward. I sighed. "You read my thoughts," I said. He nodded.

"Some pretty interesting stuff in your head," he said. "Especially about Jacob and Paul," he said winking.

I punched him in the shoulder. "But mostly Jake," he said causing me to hit him again.

We both laughed and continued walking. "But in all seriousness why did you try to kill yourself," he asked. I sighed. I knew this was coming.

"You were just in my head. You tell me," I said not wanting to say it out loud. He rolled his eyes but proceeded anyways.

"You tried to kill yourself to make things easier for Jake. Like how I left to make life better for Bella," he said wincing at the memory.

"Yeah. Not just for Jake but for your daughter to. They both deserve to be happy," I said.

"So do you," he said.

"I can be. With Paul," I pointed out.

He raised an eyebrow. "Let's be honest Seth. Remember how Jake was to Bella. I think that's how you feel for Paul. You love him but never as much as Jacob," he said.

"Paul makes me happy. I can deal with the Jacob pains but at least I'll have something to make me happy," I said. He sighed.

"You're more difficult than Bella," he groaned and I laughed.

He glanced at his watch. "It's about time for me to drop you off with Jacob. Will you be fine," he asked.

"I feel like a child being dropped off. I should be good for a couple hours," I said. He nodded and picked me up and ran me to Jacob. I could see what Bella had liked about this. Not having to move and the wind rushing by you.

We stopped suddenly and I saw Jake. The wolf inside me felt at ease. "That's interesting," Edward whispered.

Jake ran up and Edward set me down. "Thanks," Jacob said. Edward nodded with a smile. They are finally getting along.

Edward laughed. "Yeah. We do," he said. Jacob looked confused but just rolled his eyes.

He put his arm around me and Edward smirked. I glared but he just laughed and left.

"So what do you wanna do," Jake said. I shrugged. I honestly didn't trust my voice right now.

"The Forks High School is having a carnival tonight so I guess we could go," he said. Of course a somewhat romantic thing. "Good thing you like Paul instead of me or else this would be like a date," he said with a light chuckle.

I laughed nervously but he didn't seem to notice. He got on his bike and I sat behind him wrapping my arms around his waist and scooted closer so I was against him. I blushed and was glad he couldn't see me. When we arrived people whistled and we flipped them off and laughed.

We walked in and played some games. He won a bear and gave it to me. It got late and we left. He took me home and Paul smiled and grabbed my hand.

We walked inside and sat on our bed. "How was today," he asked.

"It was good. I got a bear," I said showing him. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

"And you yell at us about treating you like a child," he laughed again and I giggled. I did love him. Never as much as Jacob but maybe this was the best way.

"I'm gonna name it Paul Jr.," I said and he blushed. "Ooh your blushing," I said and he jumped on top of me. He started to tickle me and I burst out in laughter.

He dropped off me and looked me in the eyes. I felt this rush of emotion and jumped on top of him pressing my lips against his roughly.

He seemed shocked but that didn't make him hesitate to kiss back. He pulled away and looked at me. "Someone's in a good mood. I'd love to continue this but I don't want to hurt you," he said. I groaned.

"Don't worry about hurting me. I can take it," I said. He sighed.

"Not now Seth. Trust me. I would be overjoyed to but I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you," he said and looked at me tears threatening to break free.

I kissed him lightly. "I love you," the words slipped from my lips before I could give a second thought. Yet they sounded perfect. His eyes gleamed.

He kissed me again and pulled me into his chest and I allowed myself to fall asleep. And for the first time, I didn't have a nightmare.

I finally got to fixing it.