it's not until it's 1:30 am and i'm sitting on my bed in a pair of jeans shorts, chewing on my nails and pushing the half eaten food around in my bowl, that i realize that i really need someone. it's not until i'm convincing myself that the light switches haven't been screwed with and the walls are standing straight, that i realise that maybe i should let someone love everything about me that hurts. maybe it's when i start counting the ticks on my car's blinker and i can't turn it off until it reaches twenty-two, that i let the idea of someone holding my hand tight enough that it stops shaking completely. it's not until a smile which is not hers makes me feel weightless and the thought of it leaving those lips scares me shitless. it's when i look at myself in the mirror and tell myself not to punch that wall because purple really isn't my color, when i realize that i'm strong enough to let someone in as long as i can let them back out. it's not until it's 1:39 am and my head doesn't feel like it's filled with cinder blocks and i realize that maybe it's time to let someone new make me feel like home again.
but, until then i'll keep loving her no matter how much it cripples my veins and dementitures my heart.
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blue
Poesíato @CALLOUSEDTOUCHES. her eyes were the same color as the sea in a postcard someone sends you when they love you, but not enough to stay. her eyes were the cornflower blue, the hue of the most magical things in life the sea, the sky and all my reaso...
