Trolly Book Reviews

Warriors: Rising Storm

The story begins with the most religious scene in all of fiction. To sum it up: your leader's about to die! Glory! Forget the owl that might have just killed a kit, glory! Meanwhile in TC, Tigerclaw gave everyone PTSD and scared everyone. Wait, does that make him... GOD DAMN IT I KNEW HE WAS SECRETLY ISIS!! Blueinsanity tries to visit the moonstone, but WC's all "Fuck you, you insane bitch!" and force her further into insanity. So so far we got ISIS and Geneva Convention violations. Littlecloud and Whitethroat go to TC and join Disturbed in being DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS!!! Yellowasshole announces she hates rock and forces them out, but it turns out Cinderpaw is secretly a metalhead. Cloudpaw ragequits and becomes a kittypet, but Ravenhypocrite shows up and screams at him for leaving the clan. In the background, Fireheart and Sandstorm are fucking in front of everybody. Tigerclaw murders a dude and uses confuse on Fireheart. It's super effective, and Fireheart murders another dude. Next thing you know, detailed cat military tactics start taking place. No, seriously, like you could actually use this strategy in a real world battle. EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!! "Don't worry, I'm not scared!" Fireheart yells, running through the Fire and the Flames to save all of TC with the best rhymes he can spit. Unfortunately, he's a shit rapper, and Yellowfang dies. TC starts rebuilding their camp because they DON'T have Bush as their leader and can actually do that. Nightstar dies and Great Leader Trump, commander of ISIS, takes his place.