Porcelain Doll

Fate

Eren's POV

The door slammed shut behind me,  causing it to echo throughout my room. Would you even consider this my room, or a place I try to shut out everything I fucked up.  I don't know what to do anymore. Do I scream, cry, yell or do I do nothing, because none of it will solve my issues at hand. Dropping my bag on the bench I go to have a shower. Dropping my clothes on the floor as I make my way to the bathroom, by the time I reach the door I'm naked and vulnerable. I turn the hot water on and stand frozen in the shower. The hot warm unfreezing me. How did I screw up so much that I'm left to glue all the pieces back together. Even after I washed my body thoroughly, I still feel sticky and dirty. I leave the towel where it is and walk out of the bathroom towards my bed, grabbing my phone on the way. Bringing the covers up to my chin, I unlock my phone.  No missed calls, no messages, I guess I can only try calling him. The call goes through, I count the rings waiting to hear his voice, after 4 rings it answers and a groggy voice speaks, "hello.""Uh, Hi um. Is this Levi, "yes is there something you want?" "Levi,its um Eren. Is it possible if you can meet me at a cafe at around 12." "Okay, meet me at Cafe Maria's, its around the corner from my house." With that he hung up, this is going to be a lot harder then I though it would be.

I leave the house in causal attire, a pair of  blue jeans and a white t shirt with a blue casual shirt unbuttoned over it. Hopefully it's not to dressy.  The streets and cafes are fairly busy at this time, with everyone going out for lunch or a coffee. I notice the cafe Levi said to meet at and already see him at a seat at the front. Parking my car around the corner I walk down towards my fate. Nearing the table he is sitting at, I notice how different he looks in casual clothes. With skinny black jeans, a black t shirt and a black jacket on the chair. He is one unmissable hot shot with a cup of tea and a newspaper laid out in front of him. All the women sitting around him are looking at him. One young lady attempts to talk to him, but he brushes her off quickly. "Um, hi" "you made it, thought you were never going to come. " "Aha, sorry I got caught in a little traffic," "so what did you call me out on this Saturday for Eren." I don't know how to say it or how to word it. "Umm, I'd like to sort out last nights events." "Okay then go on tell me some lie of yours that won't match up." That's not fucking it, that Erwin whom you call your friend is lying. But aye seems like Levi ain't as perfect as all the women around here see you as. "I'm not lying when I say I was drugged, why would I carry drugs on me when I was out with Jean." "Maybe you wanted to drug Jean instead and saw your chance with Erwin," he hasn't looked up at me once. "Levi why would I like Erwin tell me" this whole conversation is starting to piss me off. "Tell me why I would like him at all, or consider him as a possible sex partner. You seem to know why. So why don't you enlighten me Levi. Oh yeah I forgot you can't read minds." I can't stop talking which is only digging me into an even deeper hole. I have to get up and leave. "That must be it, that's why you can't see why I'd never fuck the lying bastard, why I'd ever want him to even run his hands against my body. But hey that mustn't have been obvious considering I would knock him out if he touched me and resisted so much but couldn't due to our size difference. Also the fact that I was drugged and had to be restrained for him to do what he did to me." Levi, I can't read you please just tell me what I did wrong. Just look up at me how you used to. I can't stop talking. "Well I guess this whole meet up was a waste I'm better off dead under some train tracks then trying to get through to you." I get up and leave, he still hasn't lifted his head up. Walk, walk as fast as you can, don't look back at the sight of something you lost from idiocy and bad luck. I didn't even let him get one word in before my big mouth went off. Maybe it was pointless from the beginning, what could I get across to someone who doesn't even believe me in what I say. Opening my car I sit stationary not knowing what to do next. I only have one more enjoyable day before returning to work.  Calling up sick is a possibility.

I don't feel like doing anything for the whole day except eat and watch TV. Before I realize it, it's already 12 and I haven't moved at all for the past few hours. This isn't so bad, I'll call in sick tomorrow and maybe call in sick the week after that. Maybe I'll just get a new job that is far far away.