Why? Just why do I try? Why do I try to do anything when that idiot is next to me? Why do I try to do anything when he's getting closer? Why do I try to do anything when he doesn't stop?
Why did I not stop him? Why did I not stop him from kissing me and calling me princess after school? Do I like it? Do I like him? Why did he kiss me? I'm goody-two-shoes and he's the bad boy type. So why me? How did my brain took the decision that I should kiss back? How and why did this happened?
And why did I run away after it, if I liked it? Why did I liked it? Was i scared of what's going to happen next? No. I'm never scared of a stupid guy. Why would I though?
He could tell the hole school about it, he could say that he slept with you. He could do so many things.
And why should I care?
Because you care for what he thinks about you.
No I don't. I don't care about anything. And yet. Do I?
This hole day was going just great. And tomorrow I have to see him. him.
You know. He's a good kisser. I have to give that to him. And he called me princess and I swear I hated it. But then he called me Ava. And I think I like princess better. I told Adam and he mocked me. He laughed, but he helped me trough it. He was just teasing, he made little jokes and made fun of Jack. But when Adam mocked Jack and said "princess" it didn't sound right. And when Jack called me Ava... it didn't sound right either. What's happening with me? Do I like him? No I can't. He's annoying and he smokes and he drinks . And I'm just...plain ol' me. I don't get in fights, I don't raise my hand in class, I stay out of trouble. But he kissed me. He kissed me knowing were so different... So... Don't I like him? Why am I still thinking of this? What happened happened... Maybe because it was my first kiss ?
Anyway. I was sat in english class trying to lisent to what my teacher was saying, but I couldn't concentrate knowing that Jack was also there. This is the single class we have together. At the start of the year we had almost all the classes together, but now... we just have english. I couldn't make a lame joke and say we have chemestry when we don't and i don't know what the kiss meant.
Miss was talking and i looked at her, trying to make everybody think i was paying attention. When i was thinking of him. Why, again, am I thinking of this? Why was I thinking about this idiot? This idiot that was currently staring at me, his gaze burning holes through me and I swear I could melt. I turn around and catch his eyes, the same expression on his face as the one from yesterday, it reminds me of him, his eyes, his skin, his lips...
NO! Snap out of it, you shouldn't be thinking about him. He's an idiot and he annoys you, you don't like him, you hate him.
Later
I was in the music room,alone , writing a song, yes I write songs sometimes, but they're shit. I was minding my own business, trying to think of something else then the kiss when he came in the room. Leather jacked over his shoulder sun glasses on and a prominent smirk. "So princess, are you coming?" He asked looking at me "Coming where idiot?" I said venon dripping from my voice. "You know where baby girl." He mutter, now standing way too close to me. Closer then I would like. Close enough so that my thoughts ran wild with the image of him in my mind. "I'm not going anywhere. And don't call me that." I said trying to sound irritated. He put his hands on the key board, standing right behind me playing the same chords as me. He was basically back hugging me and I didn't complain. His hands found mine and holding them in his, our fingers interlocked, my hands fit perfectly in his. "EW. Stop holding my hand!" I heard from behind me and as soon as I looked at him he was with his friends laughing at me. "I wasn't holding your hand, I don't want a disease after all!" I said turning around from him. And we're back at square one.
