In Your Company

Chapter 30

Dear Dani,

Connor tells me you prefer to be called Dani instead of Danielle, so I hope it is okay if I refer to as Dani.

You may be wondering why I am writing to you, even though we have never actually met. To be honest, I am too. But I know that if I didn't write to you I would regret it for the rest of my life (however short that may be).

Ever since Connor was little he always talked about you. About how you were so beautiful, and whatever you said was like gold to him. Dani, he could never get enough of you. And as you guys grew apart, I saw Connor change in front of me. He went from this happy boy, always out with his friends, to someone who seemed as though he had lost something.

It took me a while to realize that something was you.

Of course, I am not saying all of this for you to feel sympathy for my son.

I am saying this so that you know that my son is in love with you. I don't know if he has told you that in your relationship yet, but I am going to pop the bubble.

It reminds me of the way I look at Melissa.

So please don't break his heart.

When he talked to me last, he told me all about your first date. And your yogurt date. And all about you. He kept stopping on things that he knew you could get upset if he told me. He was telling me about all of the horrible things you have been through, and how he wishes he could have helped you through it.

So I am going to ask you to do one things.

Look after my son.

Stop him from following in my footsteps, joining the army. Stop him from becoming depressed. Stop him trying to become Lucy's father.

Make sure he is her brother.

I am sorry if I have creeped you out, telling you things that I shouldn't of. But if you are reading this then I'm not here, which means I have never properly met you, and I will never get to give you the 'look after my son' talk.

I have already given Connor the 'look after Dani' talk. Don't worry. I know your father may not.

Please look after yourself, so I can look after you.

Henry Marklin

(Connor's father)

It took me three days to open the letter. When I had received it, I didn't know what to do. I sat with Connor as he read his and comforted him as he cried. Then I spent the following days looking after Lucy, who knew what happened, but didn't understand yet. I didn't have the time to look at my own.

"What was it about?" Faith asked, as we sat in my bedroom at Joel's, editing a video for our YouTube channel.

"I'm not really sure I should say..." it felt too personal to tell others. I didn't pry, and ask Connor what his letter was about, even though I was right next to him as he read. My letter holds things I don't think I am ready to admit yet.

"Okay. I understand." Faith gave my shoulder a nudge, signaling we could change the topic.

"Are you ready for the showcase?" I ask, fiddling around with the contrast on the video.

"Well, I think so. Ms Mayer has helped me find a song. And our group song is sounding amazing. But the nerves are still there. I mean, freaking Capitol Records could be there!"

"I still can't believe it."

"I think Paige is more nervous than me. She is freaking out about doing the dance you choreographed. Keeps on practicing it in the basement, saying 'she needs to do it justice'. You and your stupid hand have got my little sister all stressed out." Faith cracks a wide smile.

Paige and I have now spent many lunch times in the hall or dance room rehearsing, which is turning out beautiful.

Connor sits in with us, in his own little world. I've started bringing him lunch as he doesn't want to eat much. His coach gave him a couple of days off training, although I can hear Connor getting up early in the mornings and going for runs. We also drive to school together, chatting almost like normal, but I can hear the heaviness in his tone.

I feel like I have failed Henry so far.

"I'm not meaning to stress her out. But she is an amazing dancer anyway." We continued chatting as we fiddled with the video, making small adjustments here and there.

"I've got to go. Mum said I needed to be home for dinner. But I can pick you up for school tomorrow if you need. And then after showcase, Joel's taking you home, isn't he?"

"Yes he is. Sounds like a plan. Thanks Faith." Walking her up to the door, I watch as she drives away.

"Connor!" I could see him walking out the door, his shoulders slightly hunched, his hair disheveled and his figure deflated.

"Hi Dani." His voice, flat, and tired.

"You look like you need to sleep." Picking up my hand, I place it gently on his cheek, letting it slid slowly to his shoulder.

"I can't sleep. It's too..." He pauses for a second, inhaling a large breath, exhaling slowly. "Can I come over?"

"Of course. Joel and Christina are in the basement, we can go to my room." Connor nods, walking around the fence, and behind me through the house, up to my room.

"Joel, Chrissie, Connor and I are going to be in my room." I shout down the stairs.

"Okay, just don't do anything bad please." Joel's muffled voice floats to us.

"This is the first time I've been in your room you know."

"I'm not sure if this necessarily counts as my room. But yes, it is, isn't it."

Walking in, I quickly push the dirty clothes in pile on the floor under my bed. My desk had piles of paper and school books, as well as my computer, which was slowly exporting the video Mia and I had just finished recording. My guitar lay on the floor, surrounded by paper of songs that were halfway through being written. Connor followed me inside, sitting down on the bed, to my instruction, next to me, with our backs against the wall.

"I'm sorry." I look at him, seeing his eyes sparkle with sadness. "I have been terrible to you. It's just..."

"It's okay Connor." I gently kiss him, seeing him visibly relax.

"Just go to sleep. I'll be right here, but you really need to have a nap. You need to be well for showcase tomorrow." He nods slightly, letting his eyes droop closed.

He looked at peace for the first time in a while.