parenthood | niam au [ON HOLD]

first day

"i don't think i wanna go," flynn says slowly as they pull up to the school. liam and niall have both decided to commit to the task of dropping the boys off on their first day. niall already cried twice even leaving the house.

"aw, baby, you're gonna have a great time at kindergarten," liam says warmly as he parks the car.

"daddy -- daddy, i don't want to. i don't want to," flynn gasps, voice shaky. when niall turns around, he can see tears in his eyes, and it makes niall want to cry.

"oh, baby, why are you crying?" niall asks, getting out of the car so he can hold him.

"i don't want to," flynn whimpers again. he clings to niall's shirt with his little hands. seeing flynn so upset has teddy's lower lip wobbling. "p-please don't make me," flynn begins to sob.

"i don't wanna," teddy cries, and liam has to end up holding him, too.

"listen now, boys. look at me." both boys look at liam, flynn wiping tears from his cheeks. "i promise you two are going to both have a ton of fun today. you're gonna play with lots of different toys, and meet lots of other kids. it's gonna be great, and papa and i can't wait to hear how it goes when we pick you up. right, ni?"

niall is trying not to cry again. "right," he says, barely managing to keep the tears out of his voice.

teddy sniffles. "wanna go home. wanna hug pa'foot."

"me, too!" flynn whines, crumbling into tears again. "i wanna hug zinnia!"

that makes teddy start to cry, too, and they stand there in the parking lot, attempting to soothe their babies again.

"how about we go inside?" liam asks, "let's just go check it out, huh?"

flynn lets out a loud whine, hides his face in niall's neck, but otherwise he doesn't object as niall carries him into the building.

"aw, rough start?" the principal asks with a sad smile as they walk in.

"yeah, they're being a bit stubborn," liam answers, rubbing teddy's back.

"aww...there's been quite a few of those this morning. kiddo, everything's gonna be okay," she smiles at flynn, and he manages a shy smile back. "which classroom are you headed to?"

"this li'l guy's going to daycare, flynn is going to kindergarten," liam replies, and the principal points them down the hall to the rooms. they go to flynn's room first, and the boy's eyes well up with tears as soon as niall puts him down.

"papa, please," he whimpers, linking his arms around niall's neck. as niall rubs his back, he can feel that the sweet boy is trembling, and his heart pretty much shatters in his chest.

"hey, ducky, look at me," liam says gently. flynn looks over. "you can do this. papa and i know you can. i know it's going to be a little scary, and we're gonna miss you sooo much, but we'll be back soon and you can tell us about all the fun you're gonna have, yeah?" liam wipes the boy's tears away with his thumb. "you can do this for me, can't you? be my brave little boy?"

flynn sniffles, straightens up in niall's arms. "i can do it, daddy."

liam beams. "such a smart boy. c'mere, give daddy a hug," he says, and flynn scrambles into his arms. liam peppers kisses on his face. flynn lets go of liam and flings himself into niall's hold, soaks up niall's kisses, too. 

"have a good day, my sweet boy," niall coos, leaving one last kiss in flynn's hair. they stand up to leave, but flynn pauses, confused.

"why is teddy going? he has to come, too," he says.

"teddy's going to daycare," liam answers, "right across the hall."

niall can see the exact second this breaks flynn's heart. panic rushes over his face; his cheeks flush pink, and his little chest starts heaving. his little hands start to shake, his lips trembling.

"no!" he shouts. "no...no! he has -- h-he has to stay! we have to stay t-t-together!" he starts to cry, heavy, thick sobs, the kind where you're gasping for air in between. "you can't take him a-away!" he shrieks, barely able to get his words out he's sobbing so hard.

he calms down some when niall picks him up, but he continues to cry. he reaches for his brother, and flynn leans over so he can hug him while still being held. niall was so focused on soothing flynn that he didn't realize that teddy had been bawling, too. flynn strokes teddy's hair with a gentleness that niall has never seen in a child. his boys seem so comfortable that sometimes he forgets the horrors they've been through, the things they've seen.

"hey...is everything okay?" the teacher asks. niall is suddenly so glad they chose to have the boys go to the school where he works, because he knows the teachers well.

"yeah," niall answers. "we're just having a rough start."

she smiles. "you're flynn, right?" she asks the boy, and flynn nods, wipes his nose. "well, kiddo, we're playing with play-doh right now. i think you'll have lots of fun."

flynn hesitates. he loves play-doh, but he loves teddy more. "i don't wanna say bye-bye to my brother," he hiccups. "or my daddies."

"aww," she responds. "i know it's hard. but guess what? your brother will be right across the hall, and you'll see him at lunch and recess! i'll even help you find him."

flynn sniffles. "...promise?"

"i promise."

that seems to satisfy flynn somewhat, though he still clearly doesn't like that teddy is going to be apart from him. he hugs his fathers and his brother one more time, and niall is choking back tears as they leave. teddy parts from them a bit more easily, having received that coddling already, and knowing that flynn is just across the hall makes it a little less scary.

"promise you're coming back?" he asks for the fourth time.

"cross my heart," liam nods, and then teddy seems okay with them leaving. as they inch towards the door, though, he starts to cry.

"you'll have to slip out while he's distracted if you don't want to see him cry," the teacher tells them, so they have to sneak out while teddy is looking at the toy trains. they can hear teddy start to cry when he realizes they're gone, and the sound of his sadness makes niall's eyes well up.

the second they're outside the school building, niall bursts into tears.

"oh, angel," liam sighs, and wraps niall up in in his arms. he kisses the top of his head as niall sobs into his collar.

"this is the worst," niall sobs.

"i know," liam sniffles. he can't help but cry a little, too. it feels so wrong to be without his boys, and part of him wants to go back and get them. "but it'll be good for them, you know that. it's probably good for them to hang out with kids their age instead of being around their dads all the time."

"but we're awesome," niall sniffles.

liam laughs. "you're right about that, sweetheart." he kisses niall's wet cheeks when he pulls back. "we're gonna be okay, my love. and so are our boys."

niall nods, wipes his cheeks. "you're right, as usual."

liam kisses him. "i know i am."