disorder :: grayson dolan

two

Lili left the room group therapy was held in, rushing to go calm down in her own room. She got called on to do something just a few minutes ago and it took everything in her not to burst into tears and start hyperventilating.

But, on the bright side, she had survived again.

Her heart was beating incredibly fast as she wiped under her eyes to prevent tears from spilling over, catching her breath as she did so.

"I'm fucking ridiculous," Lili muttered under her own breath. She hated her anxiety, it made her feel stupid for not being able to function like everyone else could. She wanted to be able to talk to people and hold conversations, to breathe normally, to not feel like she was going to throw up every time she did something that she thought was strange and made people think of her weird. Even though most people didn't give her a second glance for half of them, she didn't notice. It made her incredibly anxious and she couldn't control it. "I fucking hate myself, and I fucking hate this. And I hate this place."

She shook her head, running a comb through her hair and fixing her slightly messed up makeup before her phone started ringing. That could potentially save her from needing to go out of her room and do something for a while! She jumped to answer it, seeing Luke was FaceTiming her.

Thank God for Luke Johnson she thought to herself.

"Lil! How's my least favorite neighbor doing?" He grinned excitedly as he walked out of his own house, making her eyebrows furrow as to where he was going.

"Still pretty shitty, Johnson. I know I'm far, but you should come kidnap me." Lili joked, though she wished he really would. "Tell the rest of your family I said hey, yeah? I miss your dad especially," she teased him. He gave her a roll of her eyes as he walked into her home.

"Hey Connie! I'm just going up to Lil's room," he hummed and waved to her mother, collapsing onto her queen sized bed. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about though. The kidnapping thing, not my family."

Lilibeth's ears perk up, adjusting her sitting position on her bed and waiting for Luke to continue.

What could he mean by that? Her parents will never let her leave. They want her to get better. Even though she doesn't believe that will happen there.

"So, I haven't seen you at all this summer. It's been like two months actually. You left before we even finished junior year! You had to finish it there." The boy pouts and plays with his brow piercing. "But, as you know, the Fourth of July is coming up! And your parents have mentioned you're allowed to leave for weekends and holidays... so we're working something out. We wanna get you on the first and bring you back on the fifth. We miss you. I miss you."

"Oh my god! Puke, are you serious?!" She shouts and slaps a hand over her mouth. A counselor knocks and slowly enters to see if she's alright before leaving. Luke nods with a proud grin as it was his idea.

"You could use some time out, and it's lonely here without my best friend."

Luke loved seeing her so excited. It brought a glow to her face and a shine in her eyes and a smile on her lips that he hadn't seen in ages. She looked genuinely happy, and he loved that. He took a few screenshots to remember the moment.

"Have you made any friends without me?" He asked, making her shake her head with a slight shrug. They were both aware how hard it was to make friends. "Well I haven't met any new people either. I'm getting sick of my school friends though, they're nowhere near as fun as you."

"Thanks, Luke. I don't think I'm gonna meet anyone here, I usually just sit alone and listen to music or something. You know me," the boy frowns lightly, but nods. Luke thought maybe things would be better if she made at least one friend.