Baby Steps

Chapter 6: Baby Mine

Later on during that same night, Rosie fell asleep in Marco's arms and found herself faced with a series of nightmares she couldn't believe to be happening.

Rosie is first seen helping her daughter out of the car as they arrive at the Target parking lot. At this point her daughter is approximately 2 and a half years old and refuses to ride in the cart; insisting that she is a big girl and that she can walk the entire time. Typically, Rosie wouldn't have to think twice about granting her daughter's wishes because Marco would be with them, trying to spoil their little girl with sugary snacks without Rosie noticing. But since she's flying solo today, Rosie really has to weigh out her options. Does she let her daughter walk to avoid a tantrum or does she let the little girl cry it out in the cart resulting in stares and silent judgments from other parents and employees?

After having thought it through for a while and with encouragement from the helplessly adorable look of innocence on her daughter's face, Rosie decides that there is no harm in letting her daughter walk; as long as she holds her mommy's hand and doesn't let go; which the little girl simply nods to in agreement.

Rosie and her daughter have been roaming through Target for approximately ten minutes and they have managed to find nearly everything that they need. But upon noticing that the bath time and toy aisle just steps apart, Rosie's daughter effortlessly releases her grip on her mother's hand and leaves to pick out a toy without Rosie's knowledge.

Once Rosie is sure that she has gotten everything on her checklist for the week and she is prepared to tell her daughter that they are done, Rosie heart sank as she looked to her right and realized that she was long gone. Rosie calls out for her but the little girl failed to respond. She looks high and low and all around, but the little one is nowhere in sight. The worrisome mother then assumes it is safe to say that her daughter is forever gone; believing that she has failed as a mother.

Rosie then gets into her minivan and starts to sob before putting the key in the ignition to go; worrying about how she will face Marco and how she could ever face herself again.

Rosie woke with a start and squinted at the window then gazed at the clocking, realizing it was only 1am. She then stared down at her bump in relief as she slowly got up to pee due to the baby playing Beyoncé's Run the World on her bladder. Upon returning from the bathroom and crawling back into bed, Rosie placed a hand on her bump to feel those reassuring kicks; worried that the possibility of failing her daughter was greater than she anticipated. At around 2am she slipped back into the dream world, praying for a much better fate.

Rosie finds herself at the hospital in the middle of the night and it seems as if she has just given birth hours before. Much like last time, her instinct is to find her baby. But when she called out for help this time, Lucy approached with a sorrowful look on her face.

"What is it, Lucy? Did something happen?" Rosie asks, the fear beginning to build as her heart palpitates a mile a minute.

Lucy then sports an equally confused look on her face; wondering Rosie has gotten up and out of bed, but is quick to realize that Rosie doesn't remember what happened just a couple hours ago. When Rosie demands an explanation, Lucy takes a deep breath and prepares to deliver the news that no mother should ever hear, but unfortunately some do.

"This is always a difficult thing to say and I can't imagine how much harder it is to hear. You were 24 weeks pregnant and your blood pressure went way up; resulting in a stillbirth. I'm so sorry" Lucy explains with an apologetic sigh.

It is right then and there that Rosie feels her entire world has shattered. She can't even so much as find the words to describe the pain that runs through her entire body. All she can manage to do is collapse on the floor with grief and cry while curled up in a ball of diminished hope; thinking that she has failed her baby once again and believing that she was never meant to be a mother.