Sherlock's Human Error

Chapter 9

It was Christmas now. Sherlock and Mycroft's parents had invited John, Mary and I to their house for the day. Mary, John and Mr Holmes were in the living room, chatting about god knows what. Sherlock, Mycroft, Mrs Holmes, Bill and I were in the kitchen. I was helping Sherlock's mum sort out the Christmas crackers for the table. "Oh, dear God. It's only 2 o'Clock. It's been Christmas day for at least a week now, how can it only be 2 o'Clock. I am in agony", Mycroft moaned as he held his head in his hands. "Mikey is this your laptop?", Mrs Holmes asked. "Upon which depends the security of the free world, yes. And you've got potatoes on it", Mycroft retorted. "Well, you shouldn't leave it lying around, if it's so important!", I replied. "Why are we doing this, we never do this?", Mycroft asked no-one in particular. "We are here because Amy is home from hospital and we are all very happy", Mrs Holmes replied. "Am I happy too? I haven't checked", Mycroft asked, sarcastically. I hit Mycroft on the head with a cracker, earning an approving look from both Sherlock and his mum.

"Behave Mike", Mrs Holmes pleaded. "Mycroft is the name you gave me, if you could possibly struggle all the way to the end", he answered. "Mrs Holmes", Bill said as he passed her a cup of punch. "Oh, thank you, dear. Not absolutely sure as to why you're here", Mrs Holmes questioned. "I invited him", Sherlock said, looking up from the newspaper he was reading. "I'm his protege, Mrs Holmes. When he dies, I get all his stuff and his Job", Bill said. "Nope", Sherlock said. "Oh, well I help out a bit", Bill said, correcting himself. "Closer", I said. "If he does get murdered or something..." Bill said. "Probably stop talking now", I suggested. "Okay", he said. "Lovely when you bring your friends round", Mycroft said. I threatened him with another Christmas cracker, which made him smirk. "Stop it, you. Somebody has put a bullet in this lovely girl, and if I ever find out who, I shall turn absolutely monstrous. Ah, this was for Mary. I'll be back in a minute", Mrs Holmes replied referring to the cup of tea she previously made. I smiled at her. I noticed Sherlock look at his watch. I knew his plan, do did Bill. Sherlock chose not to tell John because he knew he would object.

Mycroft, Sherlock and I went outside for a little bit, to have a cigarette. I don't normally smoke, but since it's Christmas, I didn't really mind. "I'm glad you've given up on the Magnussen business, Sherlock", Mycroft said. "Are you?", he questioned. Mycroft ignored his question and continued to talk. "I'm still curious, though. It's hardly your usual kind of puzzle. Why do you hate him?". "Because he's an ass", I butted in. I gave an apologetic look to Sherlock as he said "Because he attacks people who are different and preys on their secrets. Why don't you?". "He never causes too much damage to anyone important. He's far too intelligent for that. He's a business man, that's all and occasionally useful to us. A necessary evil. Not a dragon for you to slay", Mycroft said. I chuckled "A dragon-slayer. Is that what you think of him?", I asked with laughter in my voice, pointing to Sherlock. "No. It's what he thinks of himself", Mycroft said with a smile. 

The front door of the house opened. "Are you three smoking?", Mrs Holmes shouted from the doorway. "No", Mycroft said. "It was Mycroft", Sherlock and I said simultaneously, whilst hiding the cigarettes behind our backs. Mrs Holmes gave us all a stern look as she went inside, shutting the door behind her. "I have, by the way, a job offer I should like you to decline", Mycroft went on saying. "Then I decline your kind offer", Sherlock replied. "I shall pass on your regrets", Mycroft said. "What was it?", I asked, curiously. "MI6. They want to place you back into Eastern Europe. An undercover assignment that will prove fatal to you in, I think, about six months", Mycroft stated, turning towards Sherlock to talk to him. Sherlock's head perked up, "Then why dont you want me to take it?", Sherlock asked. "It's tempting but on balance, you have more utility closer to home", Mycroft said. Ha, yeah ok... I'm sure it's because he'll miss his little brother. "Utility, how do I have utility?", Sherlock asked. "Here be dragons", Mycroft said. 

Mycroft pulled a disgusted face as he started coughing. "This isn't agreeing with me. I'm going in", Mycroft said, referring to the cigarette he put out on the floor. "You need low tar. You still smoke like a beginner", Sherlock said. "Also, your loss would break my heart", Mycroft said, referring to his earlier conversation. I thought so. I smiled as Sherlock started coughing and choking on the smoke around him. "What the hell am I supposed to say to that?", Sherlock asked. "Merry Christmas?", Mycroft suggested. "You hate Christmas!", Sherlock exclaimed. "Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch", Mycroft said. Did he know? I wouldn't be surprised. "Clearly. Go and have some more", Sherlock suggested. Mycroft turned around and went inside. Sherlock looked at me, checked his watch and put his cigarette out on the floor. "It's showtime", he said, winking at me. 

We ventured inside the house where everyone, apart from Sherlock, Bill, John and I were knocked out because of the drugs that Sherlock had Bill put in both the punch and Mary's tea. We walked towards the living room where John was trying to wake Mary up. "Don't drink Mary's tea. Oh, or the punch", I told John as we entered the room. I followed Sherlock as we went round checking to make sure that everyone was breathing. "Sherlock? Did you just drug my pregnant wife?", John asked as he chased after us. "Don't worry. Wiggins is an excellent chemist", Sherlock said. "I calculated your wife's dose myself. Wont affect the little one. I'll keep an eye on her", Bill said. "He'll monitor their recovery. It's more or less his day job", Sherlock reassured John. "What the hell have you done?", John asked. "Deal with the Devil", Sherlock said. "Jesus!", John said as he walked off to check on Mary again. "Amy, please tell me that you and Sherlock haven't gone out of your minds?", John asked from the other room. "I'd rather keep you guessing", I said, laughing. Sherlock carefully took Mycroft's laptop from underneath him. I could hear the helicopter overhead. "Ah! There's our lift", Sherlock said, smiling. 

"Coming?", I asked as Sherlock and I started making our way down to the helicopter. "Where?", John asked. "Want your wife to be safe?", Sherlock asked him. "Yeah, of course I do", John replied. "Good, because this is going to be incredibly dangerous. One false move and we'll have betrayed the security of the United Kingdom and be imprisoned for high treason. Magnussen is quite simply the most dangerous man we've encountered and the odds are comprehensively stacked against us", Sherlock told him. "Then how on Earth did you persuade Amy to be okay with this? Besides, it's Christmas", John asked. "She insisted that she join in and I feel the same! Oh you mean it's actually Christmas. Did you bring your gun as I suggested?", Sherlock asked. 

"Why would I bring my gun to your parent's house for Christmas dinner?" John asked. "Is it in your coat?", I asked as I passed him it. "Yes", John simply answered. "Off we go then", I said, walking away. "Where are we going?", John asked following us. "Appledore", Sherlock and I replied in unison.