My Discovery

Chapter 2

I sit quietly on the bus for about fifteen minutes, it makes a couple stops before it is time for me to get off. As I see my stop come into view I grab my backpack and scoot to the end of my seat, preparing to exit. The bus slows down and stops completely, I smile at the driver as I exit. I step onto the hard pavement and head towards a small church. I am not religious in any way, shape, or form, this is only the building where my program happens to take place. As I enter the church I am greeted with smiles and waves, with the occasional 'hello dear' or 'good to see you again'. I take my seat in a small room filled with chairs in the shape of a circle . Most of the chairs are filled by people about middle age, some a little younger and some older. It was suggested that I join a program with people my age, but I insisted on being in this one. As everyone settled in, Mary entered. Mary is a wonderful woman in her mid-50s. She runs this group and I couldn't think of anyone more capable. Her dyed auburn colored hair, overuse of the color purple, and welcoming smile can make anyone happy.

"Hello everyone." Mary smiled at everyone in the group.

"Hello" We all echoed back.

"I see we have a new member today. Why don't you introduce yourself."

"Hi, my name is Daniel." A grizzly looking man said opposite me.

"Nice to meet you Daniel." Mary, again, smiled. "Can we go around the room and introduce ourselves to Daniel please?"

I listened to all of the members say their names in monotones, until it was my turn.

"My name is Joanna, Jo for short." And then on to the next person. After everyone was done Mary said...

"Ok so would anyone like to share something today?" A couple of people raised their hands, instead I tucked mine under my leg. I never liked speaking in these meetings, despite the fact that I loved listening to everyone else talk. "Elisa, would you like to start for us?"

"I'd love to." Elisa talked about her week, then Jan did, then Jim, and so on and so forth until the meeting was over. Everyone said their goodbyes and we all made our way back home.

I waited for another bus, walked on, waited for my stop, and got off. It was getting dark out and I walked slowly along the cracked pavement. I finally made it to the front step of my house. I took a deep breath then walked in. I was careful not to make too much noise, wouldn't want to anger my mother. I tiptoed to the stairs and as I started my way up peeped over to see my mother passed out on the couch. I continued my way up and walked into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I quickly take off my clothes and put on my pink robe. I look into the mirror and sigh. Overall I think I'm okay looking. I don't hate my appearance, but I'm no supermodel. My long, straight, brunette hair fell just below my boobs and my green eyes were big and bright. From my outer appearance you would think I'm just some ordinary teenage girl. My eyebrows are neat and my nails are strong. I take good care of myself, despite my situations. I need something to mask myself, and I feel like my appearance is the only way to go. People still don't think I'm normal though, at least those who have spent anytime in the same room as me. I'm not a freak, or anything, I just don't talk very much. People just assume that I'm antisocial, I'm not, I'm just not good at trusting people.  

My thoughts are interrupted by the creaking of stairs. I take a deep breath and wait. The footsteps stop at my door and for a second I didn't hear anything. I brace myself as the doorknob turns and my door is swung open.

"When did you get here?" My mom coughs.

"Um... just a little bit ago."

"Where was I?"

"Asleep... I uh... I didn't want to wake you up... I thought-"

"Bullshit. Don't try and sneak around and think I won't know about it." My mom interrupted me and took a big drink of vodka.

"I promise I wasn't... I just," realizing that I couldn't win an argument with her, "I'm sorry it won't happen again."

"It better not, you won't be happy if it does. You can bet my life on that."

"I know, I'm sorry."

My mom turns to walk away and then stops, "Dinner will be on the table in twenty minutes." She closes the door before I can say anything.

I sigh and sit down on my bad, placing my hands on my face. After about two minutes I get up and take a quick  shower. I love taking showers because it's one of the few times I can be completely alone with my thoughts without my mom or my teacher shouting at me. I step out, dry my body off, and wrap the towel around my hair. I go out into my room and put my pajamas on. I'm wearing a pair of grey shorts with a pink rim and a black tank top. I quickly brush my hair and run downstairs to the dinner table.

As promised dinner was on the table. I look at it and frown. I can't remember the last time I had a cooked meal. My mom, when she actually decides to make food, throws something in the microwave and plops it onto a paper plate. I go to a drawer in the kitchen to grab a fork. I sit down and pick at the food, not wanting to eat the biohazard on my plate. My mom walks in and sees me not eating.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

I jump, not noticing she had entered the room.

"Nothing, I'm just eating dinner." I lie.

"Really. Because there's the same amount there as there was ten minutes ago."

Silence.

"Well? Say something!" She slams her hand on the table.

"I'm just not hungry." I close my eyes and wait for her to speak. Nothing. "It's just I've eaten the same thing for so long. Can we have something else for a change?" I look up at her with worried eyes. I see the anger rush through my mom's body and realize that I screwed up.

"You ungrateful bitch! Stand up!"

I quickly stand up and look at the floor.

"Look at me!"

I look up. She takes her hand up slowly and I already know what's going to happen. She's spitting insults at me but I can't hear them over the blood rushing in my head. I feel the first hit. Her hand comes across my face sending a shock of pain through my whole body. I fall to the floor and curl up into a ball.

"Mom! Please! Stop!" I burst out crying, surprised that I still have tears inside me.

"You are my child, you do not tell me what to do." As I cry she continues to kick me in my sides and my legs. After a little while she spits next to my face and walks away taking a bottle of vodka with her.

I lay there and wimper, trying to find the courage to get up. I wipe the tears from my face and sit up. I walk to the freezer and grab a couple ice cubes, placing them in a plastic bag and wrapping it in a towel. I place it on my face and limp back to my room. I lay down on my bad and quickly drift off to sleep.