begin [j.jk]

1

If a flower is deprived of light for as long as its stem has grown, it wouldn't know light. It would crave for the light not knowing how close the sun was or if there even was a sun due to it being so blinded by the worthless wants it obtains. The moment the flower is exposed to the moon it wouldn't know there's brighter, it wouldn't know it is seen as foolish because the moon is much more dim than what it could have, but it didn't know for as the flower had grown in the dark, and the moon came out to play before the flower could know of the sun.

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Jungkook grew up without much of anyone, always seemingly alone or with some kid that didn't have any sincerity. His dark, chocolate eyes glistened with playfulness as he hopped along rocks and sang to himself with the flow of the water beneath his feet as background music.

He would play with his Paw Paw, sharp eyes as he played teacher and would expect more from his Paw Paw, not understanding the "K" in "Kat" was intentional and that his Paw Paw really did know the correct way of spelling cat.

Other than his Paw Paw and insincerities he was alone, always, singing, dancing, learning on his own.

He never knew of this, that he was much more on his own than any parent would like to admit. His older brother always had other places to be with other kids, and his dad was gone.

His dad has work to do and never was home, not even on birthdays, so when jungkook turned seven and said he was disappointed one person was gone, he meant his mother. He was used to his father being gone. He didn't remember his father much besides the fact that he was all about work, nothing else.

His mother really didn't like being around him either, isolating herself in her room or complaining that she always gets mistreated, that nothing can go right, that for some reason everyone hates her.

Due to this and the softness in Jungkook's heart he always went out of his way to make her happy, but she was never satisfied and he eventually stopped trying.

He stopped trying on everything. He wanted to do more but he never found himself receiving help or validation in his efforts so instead he stayed up till five in the morning to watch his favorite television shows since the age of seven.

He was attached to the entertainment world- maybe due to the complex system of it's noise and it's there for you. That would explain why he could remember old television shows better than he could his mom saying "I love you." And meaning it.

And now, locked up in his room, staring at the wall in distress as his urges to speak about something he's interested in, he finds himself alone.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as an extrovert though he doesn't have many friends or family to talk to, but he tells himself he does, that his brother is only two rooms down and he wouldn't shoo Jungkook away (though he does knows he would, and that's why he hasn't opened up his door and spoken to him).

Some may say it's pitiful, but Jungkook doesn't. To him- it's okay. To him- he isn't lonely. To him- he had a normal childhood. To him- it counts; though he blocks it out of his memory to forget everything but he can't forget the dips of despair he feels due to such loneliness.

Some would say "Just go make friends", and for Jungkook that's a reoccurring thought.

And so he did.

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this sucks so bad