Run Away With Me

1

Hi I'm Abi or as most call me Flabigale but like my parents say "kids will be kids" right? Whatever I guess. Today I'm starting my sophomore year of high school and to be completely honest I'm already so done with this year and I haven't even gotten there yet. I only have one friend but she is the best friend anyone could ever imagine, her name is Taylor. She understands me unlike everyone else. She is the only person who knows what I do she walked in on me doing it. It's not like I wanted to create another scar of self-hate and idiocy I just wanted the pain to go away and all it did was put the aching in a different place of the disgusting body I call my own. I hate myself honestly but that's okay I guess. I go to the gym everyday that it is open to lose weight so maybe people will stop despising me because I obviously scar their eyes and even if the don't stop hating me maybe I can stop hating myself. I only like two things about school, one: I can see Taylor after school , two: I get to go to English, it's my favorite subject. I love being able to write my feeling. It's like bleeding on paper and I can finally find words to express the feeling I have yet to understand myself.  I love going to math too it's easy I have been in advanced math since 7th grade. That's how the bullying started when I was in 8th grade there was a boy that I had previously had a massive crush on. I even told him that I liked him. He was the first person to start bullying me he would call me stupid, ugly, and yes fat. He was the genius who first called me Flabigale, I guess the name stuck. In my 8th grade year soon after the bulling started I found out that I had severe depression and anxiety. It had just gotten so bad that the boy would throw things at me and it went too far. One day I came home from school early claiming that I had been feeling "sick"  and I was ready to leave this cruel planet I was beyond ready to die so I went into my fathers room to take the rest of the sleeping pills in the cabinet. That's when I got a call from Taylor, I could swear that she is my guardian angel. She called to say that the boy had been taken out of school because he had been caught beating up a 6th grader, she was so sweet an A honor student who wouldn't even hurt a fly and he had been bulling her for over 2 months. He was expelled from the school and sued because of the damage he had done. Anyway even with him gone the name stuck and so did the bulling and then Taylor and I went to different high schools and rages when I started self harming. I wear long sleeves everyday even though I live in Texas and in the winter it gets up to 70*. Last year I made one friend his name is Luke and he is extremely sweet and Taylor and I still hang out every weekend that is how she found out about my scars. Anyway this is my sophomore year and all I can hope for is a way out.

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So this is my first time really doing this so I'm sorry if it totally sucks.
Comment if there is a mistake.