The Wiekts Pt 2 - ROAN

- Helpless -

Damned him! Damned this family! Nothing was ever right. Everything must be done according to his will. Nothing else mattered. No one else mattered. Everything must be calculated with precision. Again, his calculation. Everything was his plan all along. Damned him! I shouldn't have believed him when he said that he would give his land to me so that I wouldn't need to find another work in my life. I was swayed by his sweet words. And now, I paid the price. I paid the horrendous price that would bind me to him forever. There was no escape of this. Once again, he managed to rule my life over me. I was truly helpless against him. I was finally trying to accept the fact that no one would be able to free him or herself from my father's control. And I couldn't do it either. Even after all these years, I was still that helpless little kid getting left behind on the field because his father wouldn't help him get up on his feet. Helpless, such a hateful word.

My hand stopped writing. My body tensed. My teeth gritted so hard I they ached. I threw away the journal and everything on my desk. I gripped my quill tight, not even thinking that I could break it. I couldn't think clearly anymore. Putting the fact that I was going to get married, because my father told me to do so, in words even worsen the matter. Thinking about it now made me feel even worse. I really shouldn't have trusted him. I should have learned my lesson after all these years. But no, I was foolish enough to keep falling into the same old mistake. I growled in frustration and swatted the ink bottle away. It crashed to the floor and somehow, it made me feel slightly better. The ink tainted the floor beside me and the bottle was shattered and useless. It felt rather nice to be able to vent my anger like this, but I knew that if I continued this there would be nothing left of my room. With a sigh, I picked my journal up and put it in its place under my bed. There was no time for me to wallow in my anger and frustration. It was time for me to meet my future wife. I couldn't even bear to speak the word. It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

A loud bang on the door brought me back to reality. I got lost inside my mind again apparently. I kept on doing that these days. Suddenly I was somewhere else instead of this wretched world. I savoured every time it happened. I even wished for it to happen more often. At least, there, in the blankness of my mind, I could be far away from my father and my doomed future.

"Roan!" a loud shout was heard from outside my door followed by another bang on the door. I scoffed. I knew it was my father.

I sighed, gritted my teeth, balled my fist, and readied myself for a confrontation with my beloved father. Only when I was sure I wasn't going to punch him in the face that I went to the door and opened it. Standing there was Arn Wiekt, looking impatient.

"What were you doing in there that took such a long time to do?" he asked me right after I opened the door.

I gritted my teeth even harder and grunted a response, "Nothing, Father."

"Then why did you take so long to prepare? It's not like you're your mother who needs so many things to do before she even leaves the house."

"Let's just go, shall we?" I gave him a forced smile.

He grumbled about good-for-nothing son but he let it slide. He went away and didn't look back as if he was extremely certain that I would follow him. I hated that attitude.

I followed him, but not because I wanted to. My hands were tied in this matter, because I knew that if I didn't follow through with his plan, there would be hell to pay. And he had already told me to the exact detail of the things that would happen if I didn't do as he said this time. He told me that he wouldn't support me anymore, and by this he meant that I wouldn't be staying under his roof and getting any more financial support from him or my mother. I couldn't afford that. Not without getting an everyday work on my own. But that seemed impossible. I didn't know why but I couldn't seem to find anyone who would hire me for more than a day. I kept on getting kicked out of every work that I had.