Ok, so for me this was a really funny movie. If you haven't seen this already, take your friends with you and your recipe for some major lols is complete. It's a brilliant movie though, just to clarify. And warning all those who haven't seen it yet, don't read this without seeing it.
So. It's down there, go on, get reading.
1) Candles can blow out
2) Take matches, lots of matches
3) If your scared of the dark... tough luck
4) If you sleep with the light on afterwards and see creepy shadows it ain't my problem
5) DO NOT stay at the house overnight.
6) When the letters say 'never forgive, never forget', they mean it.
7) Taking a dog with you might be a good idea. Just don't loose the dog
8) Locking doors won't help in the slightest if your running from a ghost.
9) Bolt any rocking chairs to the floor to avoid any nasty shocks when they start moving by themselves
10) Keeping the moving on its own type theme, smash all of the creepy toys with a hammer
11) If you see any handprints on a window where you haven't touched it and your the only one who has been in the house for years, run.
12) Going swimming in the marsh at night ain't a good idea
13) The chances are that there is creepy writing in blood underneath the wallpaper. Check and see if any of the mad ramblings are instructions of how to get rid of her
14) If you see the woman, shut your eyes. You are probably killing off one of the poor kids in the village.
15) Keeping an axe with you might boost your confidence
16) If you actually remember what you were there for in the first place, just take the deeds and get out of there.
17) Doors opening by themselves are usually a very bad sign
18) No, moving the body of her dead son is not a good idea. Now you have two ghosts to deal with. Don't come crying to me
19) When a boy climbs out of the marsh and starts walking towards the house, follow the muddy footprints to find him. Though I doubt he'll listen to you if you yell at him to clean up after himself.
20) Listening to the people of the village in the first place might have been a good idea
21) Steer clear of train tracks..... And trains
22) If your standing outside the house and you see a shadow move inside the house. Run. There's still time to escape
23) Having visions of your dead wife in the middle of the movie ain't doing anyone any good now is it?
24) When the camera follows you through the forest and the camera goes past the person shaped shadow, bad sign.
25) Swimming in the marsh ain't very nice. It's muddy, there's bodies and it's 10x worse at night
YOU ARE READING
How to Survive Horror Movies
RandomDoes as it says on the scream mask. Please note: if you haven't watched any scary movies EVER (a bit weird in my book. lol, pun not intended), you might not understand the hilarity that I posses. This was originally going to be a Halloween special...
